Out of town


Having deleted my dating apps I’m now slightly restricted in meeting new men. Being a fitness instructor means I generally work ‘anti-social’ hours – I’m teaching classes when people with ‘normal’ jobs are out having fun. And given that I teach dance fitness 99.9% of the people I meet during my working day are not ‘my type’!

Saturday night was an interesting night out given that it’s my first in quite a while outside of London. It was my cousin’s hen night (bachelorette) so it consisted in heavy drinking and fun tasks for my cousin to accomplish throughout the night.

After a tame dinner we made our way out for cocktails and dancing… But we got side-tracked by some live music. We started singing along walking down the road and went on a detour to discover where it was coming from.

Turns out it was a pub with a live band outside and a lot of people dancing along. It was an eclectic mix of people seemingly with nothing in common.

From the 70s clad group of men (there was no indication of a special occasion… Maybe this was their regular Saturday night get up…)

To the more ‘mature’ generation girating to the music…

To the 20-somethings group of lads celebrating someone’s birthday.

One of these guys was desperately trying to win me over. “Seriously I earn more than all the rest of them put together. And I’m by far the most intelligent.” He said having taken his shirt off and then tried to slow dance with me as if we were back in secondary school (high school) at the leaver’s ball (prom)! “What can I do to make you think I’m cool?”


We moved on to one of the most strange places I’ve been to: a Chinese restaurant turned into red light district playing cheesy tunes and house. Some young guy was buying me ‘monkey brains’. If you hate vomit textured drinks don’t buy that!

Then these two guys were staring at me for most of the time we were there. Grow a pair wou do you! Eventually one of them came over and chatted with me. Or tried to anyway.  This was a couple of months ago now and I literally cannot remember what he said. I do remember he works and lives in London though and was making some excuse about why he was out on the depths of Kent.

After not too long his slightly less attractive but more excitable friend joined us. He was buzzing and said we’d make the best wedding couple. WTH!

Apparently I looked great in black. So was this to be a funeral or a wedding?!

I didn’t give him my number. I said he could take me out if he managed to find me online and get in touch.

His mate now follows me on Instagram 🙈