I gave up dating apps for lent

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Mashimaro, you asked about Valentine’s Day. The Shy One had an operation on his balls on that oh so sacred of days so, no, I didn’t get up to anything very exciting! I did get to teach my fitness classes to a room full of wonderful people plus a special one-off salsa class so I had a great evening just not with a special man 😉

Apparently it’s been 2 MONTHS since I last updated you! Time has flown by and in that time (about a month ago) The Shy One and I realised we were not for each other…

Screen Shot 2017-03-30 at 21.39.34.pngAnd after that did I go back on the life-sapping apps?

No, I did not. I decided that for lent I would give up dating apps (AGAIN!) and see what happened.

To be honest not a lot has happened on the dating scene and I wasn’t expecting it to. I saw the Fireman a couple more times but that didn’t really go anywhere. Despite his dreamy eyes, we all have issues and he’s no exception – currently battling some tough family ones so he’s best left to look after himself.

Life has been busy – I’ve settled into a new home in Putney with the Minx and we love our new place: it really is a home, so much so that neither of us want to move out anytime soon 🙂

Tell me, what do you think about mixing work and personal life?

I know, I know! I can hear you yelling at me through your phone screen right now!

So…. there might be someone I’m quite excited about spending time with right now (this literally started a couple of days ago) but he’s a colleague so half of me is yelling at the other half “DON’T EVEN GO THERE! YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME…!” and that other half is like “this could be good and I should at least get to know this hot piece of ass (yes I did just say that because sometimes women think that too!) before writing him off.”

I SO want to tell you the whole story…but I can’t right now because it would give it away to those who work with us and we want to keep it quiet… but I promise to tell you one day (don’t worry, I’m keeping notes!) and that may be sooner rather than later.

That’s pretty much it… which means I need to hear YOUR dating stories! So go on, write a paragraph in the comments and give me a giggle 🙂

p.s. Dom texted me a few days after I published Jessica’s Naked Experiment: “So I’m going to take some credit for Jessica…good luck with The Shy One x”

For those of you who questioned the physical aspect of the experiment Dom summed up nicely why I’d done it, and yes perhaps subconsciously he had had a hand in the experiment: “It gave you an insight into anonymously asking questions and finding out how people open up”

I had no idea he was reading the blog! Although he said he’d only found it after we’d stopped texting, he admitted he had found it interesting to read my thoughts… He then offered to trade another story for the photo of Jessica.

Apologies I have no story from Dom to share with you…

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Would you want me exclusively for you? 

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This is part 3. If you haven’t read parts 1 and 2 you’re missing out! Do that first…

Part 1 – My Own Fifty Shades

Part 2 – You’ve Been a Naughty Girl Haven’t You?

I know some people are totally turned off by this because they immediately think it’s demeaning, disrespectful, weird, unsafe, disgusting… (comment below with your thoughts!) AND THAT IS OK because everyone’s thoughts, feelings, opinions and turn-ons are different. But I’m intrigued…

Some people just don’t get it though. They aren’t able to read between the lines of the previous blog posts and think it’s JUST weird kinky stuff. How many people are unsatisfied with their sex lives? A lot right… maybe even you…?

If you don’t explore, ask your partner questions, listen and do what turns them on (so long as you’re comfortable with it) then why would things ever change? You get bored, frustrated, look elsewhere…the relationship breaks down…So why put up an instant barrier without even a consideration just because you perceive something to be ‘dirty’…?

I’m going to share some of our conversation with you so you can understand more what I’m getting at.

I feel totally at ease asking Dom questions about the dominant/submissive relationship.

He’s had 2 such relationships with people he’s met from Tinder. He also met another woman from Tinder for a drink but things didn’t continue. No idea if he’s met women elsewhere and began a dom/sub relationship with them.

Dom is happy to answer my questions, saying that one of the “relationships” lasted 3 months and another 6 months. One ended because she wanted a relationship (by this I’m presuming she wanted what they had to become more) and the other because “weirdly we got bored of each other.”

After writing their stories and sending them through messages Dom asked the women to meet for a drink to see if there was chemistry. “There has to be an instant recognition of who is in charge. She has to have a deep desire to submit.”

I asked when this started for him.

Dom: A few years ago. I’ve always loved control of her body. Deciding when and how you get pleasure. Taking you to the edge, having you beg and ache for more. I love knowing you’ll obey, love knowing you’ll occasionally be naughty to get punished.

Me: Do you have a girlfriend?

Dom: No, I can only concentrate on one at a time! Are you seeing anyone?

Me: Dating

Dom: Do you feel aware of your limits?

Me (I feel a bit stupid not knowing what I’m supposed to be saying!): As in would I tell you when to stop?

Dom: Oh I think you’re confident enough to tell me when to stop. More what you definitely don’t like the idea of doing. For example, being called dirty names like “suck my cock slut”

Me: Ok, I definitely wouldn’t get turned on by that. If anything is degrading in my mind I don’t like it. So calling me a slut, no.

Dom: Good, that is a limit.

So you want to be pinned against a wall and kissed hard, a hand running through your hair, grabbing your head and pulling it back so I can kiss your neck – while another hand slides up your dress, reaching around to grab your arse. You want to hear me whisper just how badly you want before throwing you on the bed, spreading your legs and pulling your knickers down…

Me: Something like that yes 😉

Me (in my head): If you wanted to come do this to me now I wouldn’t say no!

 

I wondered if my desires were a little ‘tame’ for him. I asked, “Is that what you want? I mean would that be enough for you to enjoy it?”

He replied: It is and I certainly would. But more importantly is it what you want? For me, quite simply, it’s all about you, how you and your body react.

 

Me (in my head): Bloody hell this is great! A guy who actually wants to know exactly what will make me happy and then make it happen!

 

Actually, I’ll say – as I did in the previous post – I think this is so important for any ‘normal’ relationship: Understand what turns each other on, explore, talk and enjoy doing those things for each other. Happy sex life!

 

Being dominant doesn’t necessarily mean f*cking hard or treating the submissive like a slave or like a piece of meat or someone worthless, it means being in control in a way that is pleasing to both parties – at least that’s my understanding so far.

 

After our chat Dom told me to expect the next part of the story at 9pm.

I asked for something… he said “It’s cute that you think if you ask you’ll get…”

Doh!

 

I know someone who has experience of Dom/sub relationships and their’s is a simple arrangement where they meet up every few weeks and have some uncomplicated fun in a way that works for them. Then they get on with their separate lives, dating and spending time with other people.

But I didn’t want to assume anything. So I asked: “Do you consider it to be a relationship when you’re with someone and doing this stuff? Like do you go out and do regular things together?”

Dom: I would if she was cool to hang out with. I’ve found with a profile like this (he’s talking about his Tinder profile) its resulted in a lot of different avenues, some who are just curious, others who have greater experience and are fully immersed in the BDSM world, and then those that want to explore themselves and with someone confident enough.

I ask what you like and don’t like because, as you can imagine, all of us have a different image of dom/sub. And I want to know what turns you on, what makes your mouth water, what makes you even more curious.

Me: If we were to take this further would you want me to be exclusively for you?

Dom: Perhaps in the long term, yes, I’d want you to myself.

Me: I am curious and want to explore this further – you know that much. But I am looking for a relationship. I’m not sure how that could work in this context? So I wouldn’t want to say to you that I’m open to this and then you expect me to be just for you while I continue to look for someone to be with long term.
Dom: Your search for a relationship is and should be a priority. I have no intention of getting in the way of that. So I suggest, we talk, you get to the end of the story, you of course entertain other dating prospects, and who knows you may take up my offer to meet me for a drink.

 

Honestly, I find him very respectful, confident but not arrogant, open and accepting.

 

A few hours later part 6 of my story arrived (WARNING – EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT! SKIP IT IF YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THAT):

You look up at him, pleading with your eyes, any other time and any other person you’d get to work with your mouth.

But not today, he’s in charge and you know it as he looks down into your eyes caressing your cheek with his hand. He brushes two fingers over your lips and unconsciously you open your mouth. Lips closing around them, tongue swirling, you find yourself showing him how good you’ll suck his cock as you maintain eye contact.

He withdraws his fingers, using your saliva, he strokes his cock, your eyes fixated as it grows in his hands, you breath deeper. He stops stroking, it’s almost fully standing to attention, you don’t need further instruction as you lean foward and devour him with your mouth.

Lips locked around it, your tongue working it’s magic as you feel it throb and get harder. You feel both his hands on the back of your head, gripping your hair gently, he wants to feel the back of your throat and you’re so willing to let him. Gently pushing and pulling your head, applying different amounts of pressure, he is in total control and he loves it.

As you grab his legs to steady yourself, he pulls your mouth off his cock, tilts your head up “Hands behind your back”. He releases your hair, as you inch forward and suck on his rock hard cock, licking up and down, tongue swirling around his balls, you want him inside you, looking up at him with those pleading eyes again, you feel his hands lifting you up…

 

Me: I don’t like my head being pushed

Dom: Noted.

Me: Are these all your words?

Dom: They are all my words, and all written for you. In this case I misjudged the head being pushed down…

Looking forward to the next part?

Me: Of course!

Dom: Do you like wearing heels?

Me: Yes.

Dom: I want to see the sexiest ones you have, if you’re wearing them in the pic even better

Me (I’m still learning…!): What are sexy heels to you?

Dom: I don’t think I have a definitive answer for that, anything over a couple of inches. I know that women often feel sexy in heels and I want to see what YOU feel sexiest in.

Me (in my head): ok I’m getting this now… Sent him the pic below. Totally feel sexy there!

Dom: Good girl. You’re absolutely stunning. If we meet, you’ll be wearing that. Exactly that.

Me: Ok.

Me (in my head): Shit, that dress is at my parent’s house!

Dom: The reason for the heels, is more detail in the next instalment. Which you’ll get at 9pm.
To be continued…

 

SingleNaomi x
What are your thoughts? We want to hear! Comment below if you dare…

Read the next part in this story here: Sir or Master. I want you to always remember who is in control.

My own Fifty Shades

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You can meet all types of people on dating apps – just as in real life – but I suppose you’re exposed to more when you go on an app or website to meet people because you’re opening to pool to people you wouldn’t normally mix with. Different topics of conversation can come up more easily online because you don’t know the person (cringeworthy when you come across a housemate’s profile!) and you won’t have a reaction face-to-face.

Fifty Shades of Grey made us all more aware of BDSM and perhaps curious if we haven’t yet experienced that for ourselves.

I’ve got friends who’ve been to Torture Garden in London (look it up!) One was taken by his girlfriend on a night he was going to split up with her… Another has been with a partner. A guy I dated revealed on our first date that he’d been there with friends (bit weird)… am I missing out? I’m not sure it’s somewhere I’d like to be… but you never know.

So, back to Tinder and Dom…


And then my story began…

Still pressing up against you, desperate to caress his crotch digging into your arse, but you know better, you know the rules.

You feel the silk blindfold slowly come over your head and and cover your eyes, a sharp intake of breath as you lose what little sight you had in the dark room. You breath out, in a way showing him you trust your mind and body to him.

His hands rest on your bare shoulders, fingers slid under the strap of the black dress he instructed you to wear. “I own every inch of this body” as he pushes the straps past your shoulders, feeling the dress slide down your body and crumpling on the floor around your heels. He kneels down, as he does running his hands down your legs,caressing your calls and slowly lifting each leg as he removes the dress out of the way.

You wait patiently, the nervousness disappearing, you feel him inches away from your face, feeling his breath on your lips, you lean forward, he slowly presses his lips against yours…

Going forward I want to make it personal to you, based on your desires… I have some questions for you to answer… Would you like to play?
Me: Sure. Do I get to see what you look like? (I’m a visual person)

 

1. Do you have past submissive experience?

2. What excites you? Punishment? Giving up control of your body, your body being used for his pleasure? All 3?

3. Bra size? Do you like them being given a lot of attention?

4. Do you prefer to give or receive oral?

5. Do you have any issues with cum? Ie. Swallowing, facials

6. How rough do you like to get?

7. Do you like to play with toys?

8. Do you like anal? Would you try it if you haven’t already?

9. Do you have any secret kinky fetishes? (Be honest, you won’t be judged)

10. Do you like the idea of being watched as you play alone?

 

You don’t get to see me just yet. The fantasy works a lot better when I’m a mystery

 

I answered his questions. 

 

Good girl.

Suddenly your knees already want to give way. He steps back, “Are you going to be a good girl for Sir?” Knowing this is exactly what you want, you whisper “Yes Sir.” “Good answer” he says looking at your body, up n down in complete admiration, you’ve worn the black lacy underwear and stockings like he told you too.

You lick your lips unconsciously wanting him to kiss them again. With a smile he steps forward and kisses you, but this time you feel his his hands on you. Starting at your neck he squeezes gently as the kiss becomes harder, you let out a little moan, his hands slide down a little further, each cupping those beautifully sized breasts. Again squeezing them to make you moan.

He hasn’t stopped kissing you, and you love it. Your hands remain by your side doing your best to not break his rules. His fingers trace your nipples through the lacy bra, they’re already rock hard and desperate to be flicked by his tongue, but his hands release your breasts.
Sliding down your navel, he reaches your knickers, tracing the top of them with his fingers you spread your legs to give him easier access, you’re soaking wet and you want him to know it. He slides two fingers below the fabric, inching closer, your lips stop moving, you want to beg him to slide his hand in fully.

His lips move away from you, with his fingers still barely inside your knickers, blindfolded, you’re powerless to his touch, you bite your lip, you can’t take it anymore…. “Please Sir”…

 

 

Just another evening Tinder conversation…

SingleNaomi x

Read the next part in this story here: You’ve been a naughty girl haven’t you?