My Fist Pump

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imageI get a message ‘ I think we would be a good match’

I looked, I read, it sparked my attention
‘I think you might be right’

And so it started.

Meet my Fist Pump. On paper he is one of the most perfect matches I’ve met in years. He got my attention and kept it. That one whom you meet in person and that moment is everything it should be. Chemistry ✔️laughter ✔️comfort ✔️ attraction ✔️

I never share my number yet I gave it to him pretty fast. We sent a few texts, he seemed great and we met that night. He was visiting from New South Wales for work for a couple of days and comes to visit every couple of weeks. Perfect ✔️

I had been single for so long now I had begun to question if I know how to not be. Maybe dating someone who wasn’t around 24/7 was a great way to get back on the relationship track. All in all, the boxes were being ticked.

He came to meet me. I walked downstairs and looked out to see him. I got butterflies. He was totally my kind of man. I’m not a touchy-feely person and am cautious about touching someone I do not know. He hugged me hello and it felt perfectly right. We went for a walk then decided to eat together. Then decided to go for dessert. It was one of those first dates you don’t want to end. I try to be open minded but it does make you question what is the catch? It’s too good. Too easy!

I put him in my car and dropped him back to his hotel. He knew I was not comfortable with a man I just met and although I am not one to kiss men I just met, I would have! Instead, he fumbled somehow and said goodbye and I laughed and said ‘Did you just fist pump me goodbye???’

He went to his hotel and I went home smiling!!!

IMG_4622We talked through text the next day and he asked if he could see me again that night. I had class to teach and wouldn’t be home until later. He was having a work dinner nearby and I arranged to meet him there. It also happened to be the coldest day of the year and I don’t do cold weather well.

I rushed home, showered and dressed warm and went to meet him. We didn’t stay long as he wanted to spend time with me, not his work friends. We decided to go to the city. When we parked at his hotel we decided to walk to  a restaurant in the city as I hadn’t eaten. Getting out of the car the wind went right through me / it was so cold!!! I suggested we eat at the hotel. I trusted him which is not like me. I wanted pumpkin soup!!! So we went to his room and ordered. We chatted and got to know each other further. Then we made out a bit!

I went home and was really excited about this guy! He was leaving the next day though. I picked him up from his hotel and took him to the airport. Knowing we would see each other soon things felt great!

We stayed talking, texting, sexting!
He booked flights a few weekends later to visit. I planned it for us. I got time off work. I counted down the days so excited. He called me Wednesday night before the Friday he arrived. He said he wasn’t coming. What???
He said he’s can’t do this right now.
What???
Turned out his son needed him as he was going through some anxiety issues.
I was crushed. Being me though, I forgave him. He assured me it wasn’t me. He is a dad first and I respect that.

We continued our connection. He arranged a new visit. It didn’t happen. I went to see him, he didn’t meet with me. I never asked anything of him and over all these years of being let down by men, I gave up expecting anything. I looked forward to the hope things might change.
I stopped talking to him then started again. We talk like partners. We get each other. He is my biggest fan. I am his biggest fan. He gives great advice. I give the same. We laugh. There are glimmers of hope. He says he will do things like visit and surprise me and I think about it for five seconds then remember it won’t actually happen.

He never came back for work again. Things changed at work. Was he ever going to?

I still chat to other guys and have met a couple. I keep my options open but no one has come close to the feeling of Fist Pump. Would I start dating someone if they came along? Absolutely!
That would speak volumes to me.

Why didn’t I just give up? I did!!
I still chat with him though because nearly a year later we have gotten to know one another well. We do have a great friendship. He is a good human. He has personal issues … who doesn’t?

imageMy male friends say he is either not single and or not that into me. This is nothing I don’t already think myself. Ultimately, I like knowing he is there.

Where will it go? If I’m realistic… nowhere. I have put it to him numerous times ‘just tell me you aren’t into me’
His response is always ‘I can’t right now I have so much I need to focus on’. Much of it is financial. He has a time consuming job as well as a huge business loan on a gym he owns that he just renovated’. If he doesn’t make it work he loses everything.

Some people push people away when they are stressed. The Smart ones know the support of someone who cares makes it so much easier. I guess he isn’t too smart! In any case. He recently let me down in a big way. I don’t know how I feel about it. As an outsider I would have given advice to ditch him ages ago and there’s nothing anyone could say that I haven’t told myself.

My life has been full of bad timing. Of guys who let me down. Of hoping this one will be the one who proves my theories of let downs wrong. It never happens.

So my Fist Pump is the best thing that never actually happened to me. There are so many good things. Such good stuff there. Maybe one day. Who knows. Life goes on and it’s still a disappointment when it comes to men. I’m not sad though – well sometimes I guess I am. I would be more sad living a lie with a man that doesn’t make me happy. I’ll never be the type who is with someone for the sake of having someone there. I am a dreamer though. I see things differently. I say ‘Just take a chance and try!’ Safe people say ‘It’s too hard’.
The only time I like ‘hard’ is when ‘hard’ is exactly what you want 😊

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Pee Steve

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I don’t relate to the following video link for an ex because I’m quite open about the process with someone I have spent time caring for. If I love a person, that never goes it just changes ‘how’. The two relationships I have had I the past 13 years were with amazing men. One long term and one less but both gave me much happiness. I could never have negative feelings for someone i spent time caring for because I don’t care for undeserving people, only good people take part of my heart.
What I DO relate this to, is dating. Meeting someone and being awkward and misjudging their thoughts. Assuming something and possibly never finding out what they really think.

He doesn’t like me. He only likes me as a friend. He doesn’t think I’m attractive. He thinks I’m boring. I am not his type. He isn’t interested. Maybe he thought I wasn’t interested. Maybe he thinks I’m not attracted to him. Maybe he thinks I don’t have time for him. Maybe he is intimidated by my Independence. Maybe he doesn’t like dogs!
I always assume a guy I spend time with doesn’t remember me. That he never thinks of me. That I didn’t leave a lasting impression. Then I have forgotten someone – cause I tend to do this – and then they see me and have some familiar interaction and remember everything I struggle to have a memory of.

I didn’t this once. I dated someone a long time ago for about eight months. He was seemingly excited to see me a few years later. My sister pointed ‘Steve’ out and I assumed she was acknowledging a friend of hers. She reminded me I used to go out with him. I looked up and he was a guy I dated. We chatted and swapped numbers. He was keen to chat. He kept bringing up ‘remember when we did this, remember when we did that?’ I actually didn’t remember these things and he was disappointed.

I remembered where I lived when I was seeing him but nothing about our time together except that he used to pee the bed when he was drunk! I remember he worked at the local bottle shop saving money for surf trips.   I used to bake food for him and take it to him. (He reminded me). That just made me want to make veggie pasties!

He told me he was bummed when I broke up with him cause I was one of the ‘nicest girlfriends he has ever had!’ This is when it hit me. I assumed he never really liked me. I thought he wished he was with my friend instead of me, but she wasn’t single. I never thought I was good enough. When he was going overseas I broke up with him because that was the ‘best idea’. Why? Because I didn’t want him to break up with me first. Because he could then be single to meet someone he liked more.  Because I wasn’t good enough.

Learning that me breaking up with him affected him on some way was the biggest surprise. I didn’t think guys ever thought about girls after.  I know at that point in my life though, that I was not in the best place. I had been through a break up that took many years to heal from. I didn’t have any confidence and I assumed I was not good enough for anyone. I tend to block memories sub consciously perhaps to protect myself.
Being older and looking back you can see these paths you took and highlight the points you now know better from. You think you have your shit together but I often find myself steering down familiar paths and needing to correct myself from making those same errors. I still feel bad about Pee Steve. He’s a really good guy! I wonder if he still thinks I was never good enough for him! Haha

Eyes Guy #4

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IMG_4630Eyes Guy 4

I’ve always been surprised when I learn that a guy does actually think about you when you’re gone. That they do actually have memories they like to hold onto. I once dated a guy for eight months and had no idea years later that this was such meaningful time in his life.

Let me digress as I do so well!

I had very little confidence in myself when I was younger. When I was dating Steve (I’m calling him Steve because his name is Steve!) I had previously been with one of the greatest loves of my life. I had been quite depressed for sometime after that ended … That’s a story for another time. I’ve discovered there are parts of my life I just don’t remember the details of. Looking further into I, I believe these times are parts of my life that I subconsciously want to forget.

Short story is this… I was out on the coast other my sister at a bar that was popular with the over 30s crew at the time. I often walk around the other my head down and am very awkward sometimes full of anxiety walking into social situations. I’m a little socially awkward and shy. Yes, I am. I followed my sister in. She seemed to be noticed by people and my shyness leads to me wanting to blend in and not stand out. It’s funny right? I would get ready hoping to look nice and be noticed as looking nice, yet when I went out I wanted to hide in the shadows! I am still like this today.

My sister said ‘Hey there’s Steve’. I just sort of ignored her nodding or something as I assumed she thought I knew someone I didn’t. She said ‘Cass… There’s STEVE!’ I replied ‘OK who is Steve?’ She said ‘STEVE!!! Your old boyfriend’. Then I replied ‘Steve? I never went out with a Steve?’ I said this as I looked up and saw Steve smiling at me. ‘Oh…. Steve’. Yes I did go it with this guy but had completely forgotten about him. Poor guy! He is really sweet. He seemed excited to see me about seven years later. We swapped numbers.

IMG_4625He was reminiscing on the phone after that and saying ‘Remember this and remember that?’ I ended up saying that I was so very sorry but I honestly don’t! I then said to him, ‘How long did we go out for?’ When he told me eight months I was shocked!. My mind started racing. He said ‘I was devastated when you broke up with me. You were the nicest girlfriend I ever had!’
Wow …. Guys care?
He reminded me of some things and I had some memories come back. He said he was going overseas and I said we should just break up. Oh that’s right, I remember that. That’s like breaking up with someone before they break up with you! Insecurity took hold. Meh… Anyway, poor Steve was so lovely but what he didn’t know was that I never thought he really ever liked me that much because I didn’t like me that much. Because I didn’t think I mattered to him I assumed he would just want to break up when he went overseas so I suggested it first then decided that is what we were doing. Who knew he actually cared?

IMG_4619Ok back on subject….

I needed a big change in my life.
It was summer and it was hot
I had some family issues and after ten years of high and not so high times, a wonderful but long term relationship that had ended and a business that had risen and fallen over the GFC, I needed a fresh start.

Eyes Guy had introduced me to an area I never knew existed and I decided this was a place I felt at home. It has huge green leafy old trees lining the streets. It has beautiful old buildings converted into apartments. It is across the river and the area is designed for your to enjoy inner city living with an old world charm. You can jump on a water taxi and go wherever you like. Restaurants and micro breweries and more yoga and Crossfit than you could ever imagine in such a small circumference. It takes less than ten minutes to get home from the city yet it is so peaceful and pretty.

I wanted to live there. As I have a beauty business as well, I needed somewhere to set up a business. I toyed between signing a commercial lease and setting up a stand alone salon, renting a room in an existing salon or working from home. I needed to spend some time looking into all options so I started with somewhere to live and somewhere to set up a salon and moved between meetings with agents for residential and commercial properties.

This particular area is in a flood zone and one commercial space i liked was a bit suspicious. Someone whispered that it had recently flooded so I knew I needed someone to take a look at it for me. Eyes Guy and I had had a bit of small talk ‘how are you’ chats here and there and I trust him to protect my best interest. He is in the construction industry which he takes much pride in. I messaged him and asked him would he be able to take a look at it sometime soon and check it out for signs of previous and potential flooding. He knew the area well.

He said he could and gave me a time the next day. I didn’t want to be there as I wanted to ensure he knew I was purely after some help with the building. I organised for the agent to have the space unlocked. I was still going there as I had a residential space to look at but was wanting to avoid personal contact with Eyes Guy. He was messaging me giving me the impression he was thinking I wanted to meet him there and I explained it would be open and that I was not able to get there at that time. Strangely (a-hem) he was late and possibly stretched it out until the time I was available (cause I thought it was safe saying causally that I couldn’t make it until 2pm). Lucky I was dressed nice hoping to impress agents. Not a good idea to turn up looking like a mess! I politely said hello to Eyes Guy and showed him to the property which in all fairness, he really took seriously and gave me his advice. I deferred away from his questions on details as he was starting to dish out opinions and advice. All in the vein of wanting to be helpful which I was polite about, but I wasn’t asking more of him than just this favour.

Did I mention it was hot? IMG_4626.PNGIt was especially hot and just standing in the shade not moving still brought a layer of humidity induced sweat over your body. He was walking home so I asked did he was a lift in my (air conditioned) car. It was the polite thing to do. He jumped in and we chatted and it was actually really nice. If I care about someone it is difficult for me to ignore them or not want to make sure they are ok. We will always have that unusual connection that happens even without words. It was nice just talking with the ‘nice’ Eyes Guys… The good guy. The one that makes me laugh. The kind man.

He invited me up to his (air conditioned) place to chat a bit more and I went. It was nice. Was really good to catch up on the last few or more months. Was time for me to get going so I got up to leave and gave him a hug. Hugs are always great with him. He decided to walk me to my car. Before I got in my car he just grabbed either side of my face and kissed me… Yes … This old thing again! I was blind sided completely. No intention no idea this would happen. Gahhhh!!!

Things were confusing but I would not allow him to get in the way of my plans. I found an amazing apartment and I loved it. I found the perfect solution for my business and could not have been more excited. Eyes Guy was forth coming and I can’t remember the exact way it happened but I apprehensively starred getting closer to him and him with me again. I had a huge barrier erected emotionally and was not about to allow him to suck me in again. We were making out and I said to him ‘WTF we don’t have a connection?’ He said these words to me
“I know. Sometimes I say things I don’t mean. If I ever say that to you again, just ignore me”

The difficult thing here is this.
I could not trust in him being ‘that guy’. I never allowed myself to relax and be me. I never allowed myself to fall in-love with him. I had how accepted that this was just a friendship (not a great one because that would mean both people act as friends not just me) with.a difference. It was very different her never friends with benefits. When we were together we were just that.

IMG_4615I started to choose my battles. I would be around then not around depending on how he treated me. He never spoke to me poorly or did anything to harm me. What he did so was ignore me. I never ignore people. It’s a horrible thing to do to someone especially someone who has some significance in your life .. And I did. Despite the less great times with him, I always knew he cares he just made me feel shit otherwise, mostly due to ignoring me. Did I mention ignoring is mean???

I remember saying we are just friends and I felt like I was: I had gotten to know him so well and yes you are correct… Alcohol was an evil dark shadow in his life. I had watched or become make obvious to me and he allowed me in his everyday life more and more. We would stay with each other and not have sex just be beside each other. As I said, I would stay away from him because I needed the time away. Sometimes he was too much for me to emotionally manage. I needed distance from him. I would however, feel something sometimes that made me contact him again and it was when he needed me. He became able to tell me about his doctor appointments. He finally told his doctor he was concerned he has a problem with alcohol. His doctor asked him some questions and concluded that he didn’t have a drinking problem he just self mediated to get to sleep. So he gave him some sleeping tablets which should not be taken with alcohol… Hmm.

Eyes Guy had previously tried to stop drinking and was excited about his progress. He stopped drinking during the week. I said I would give up Pepsi Max and fresh muffins! He was meant to stop drinking altogether for eight weeks on a fitness challenge. I sabre to support him and I love muffins! I did my part and continued thereafter on my own as I had stopped talking to him.

This time I stopped was when he was leaving the area for a while with work. He had not given me any thoughts which was obvious and it wasn’t the nicest feeling. I spent some time thinking about how to out this situation into perspective for me. I’m a logical thinker and need to give such things reason. I asked to meet with him and this is what I said.

IMG_4617I said ‘I have been trying to work out what I mean to you. What I am worth in your life. Most men would be over the moon about looking forward to coming home to someone like me at the end of the day. To see me when they get home. To hug me and kiss me and sit down and have dinner with me. Talk about their day, laugh and sleep beside me. Not you. You look forward to for home to vodka so I thought about my worth to you and think it’s around $25 or $20 on sale… About half a bottle of vodka. I’m worth far more than $20 so I am not doing this anymore. I adore you and love you unconditionally. I love you for who you are. I know your demons and love you regardless and I always will. When you are ready I will be here and I will hold your hand. I will always hold your have but that’s all I can do now, just as your friend.’

He said ‘I never felt a connection with you anyway’.

A-ha, yep, I know ….
(Time for eye roll insertion!)

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Anyway, we walked back together and In my mind, we were friends. I knew though this meant being ignored again. I still message and I still kept being that friend who didn’t let him ever feel alone.

Off he went to work with a million thoughts on his mind to a place he didn’t want to be working at. Now it is Winter and there is still more to come.

I want to say at this point that I dearly and completely love this human with all my heart. This story is on going and there is much I haven’t mentioned and more still untold. He has been horrible to me often but what i think he wanted to believe for so long, was that I wanted a relationship with him. I did at first, of course I did and at other points I wished the good times would last. For me, I made a promise to him. This type of behaviour loses friends. I don’t blame them either. People don’t know what is going on in someone else’s life and unless you notice there is a problem or someone tells you, you don’t know. Therefore you take such behaviour as offensive. Not keeping in touch can eventually just push people away. People assume they are rude or too busy and just stop calling. No didn’t want to be that person. I wanted to be the friend who stayed by his side even if from a distance sometimes. I just wanted him to be happy and feel loved. I can never explain the connection we have as mentioned before. There is a bond that keeps us together, sometimes closer than others. He isn’t a bad person, he just acts bad sometimes. I don’t make excuses for him and I’m not naive to the situation. I made choices I own. I allowed myself to be in situations that made me sad, feel let down and disrespected. I knew what the outcome of my texts or calls would be at times… Ignored, plans changed and so on. I found it heartbreaking. How could someone so loving and kind at times be so mean and selfish the others? Why would someone who tells me what a beautiful person I am, treat me with such rejection so often?

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I take a breath and remember it’s Eyes Guy and that is what he does…. When he is pushing me away.

 

CHASING THE D

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To add some spice to our blog,  I’ve come across some stories not written by Naomi or myself but from women who we think are hilarious, open, fun and gorgeous and whom we have asked if they would mind that we share them with  you.

These are not our regular type of stories.   They contain language and themes that are a bit more risqué than what we would normally write about, but at the same time are just fabulous!  Most are tinder stories,  and as we go along I’m going to copy and paste them for your reading enjoyment.

If you are not open to some colourful language and more sexual themes then please don’t continue to read.

I’m going to just simply copy these written stories and drop them in here with no corrections, no additions, just exactly as they were written,  and I really hope you have a laugh and enjoy.

Just to reiterate I do  have permission from these ladies to copy and paste their stories here.  I could name them and make them more fabulous so that you could enjoy them even further.  However, we have chosen to protect them, so let’s just say they are written by ‘a friend’.

To this friend or friends we just want to say thank you so much for being so much fun just being you…. You are inspiringly amazing ❤️

Here we go ….

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💋hold on to your tits girls cause this is one hell of a ride💋

*WARNING, LOTS OF SWEARING AND DICK AND BAGGING OUT SHIT GUYS*

Before I begin I’d just like to state that the following stories are 110% real. Yes, my luck is actually this bad. Hard to believe? Same.

So here are my worst tinder date experiences.

1. This is the very first tinder experience I had. The guy I swiped right for super liked me. That should have been a warning sign.
He looked ok from his 2 very blurry photos and he was nice enough. I decided to give him a go. So he comes to pick me up one day and his car is an absolute mess. I’m talking empty cans, dirty clothes, shoes, grass and dirt all through it, tabacco- just fucking filthy. And I’m all dolled up like the fucking angel I am. Anyway this prick is bloody 6ft something tall and my head probs reached his ballsack (im exaggerating)
So within the hour of meeting me he asks me to be his girlfriend. I freaked out and said yes because I’m fucking socially inept.
He took me back to his and he drives like a maniac and I thought “well fuck it, at least he might be a good root and I’ll get something out of this date.”

Jesus did not prepare me for what came next.
This guy had been telling me all day that his dick was big, saying escorts have turned him down cause it’s too big. I laughed it off because every guy says that.

HOLY mother Mary of GoD this thing was a fucking MONSTER
My vagina literally clamped shut at the sight of it.
BUT MUMMA DIDN’T RAISE NO QUITTER SO I DECIDED TO JUST GET IT OVER AND DONE WITH.
Mate

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💋worst tinder dates💋 POST 2👏👏

Ok so this is like one of the 5th guys I met up with.

He was italian but looked spanish, hot as all fuck and rich as hell. He mentioned he wanted to be more than a fuckbuddy and I was pretty keen for a relo because i get a bit slutty when im single and I have a fear of STDs so i decided i should probably settle.

Anyway, he shows up, we go to a bar and im drooling at the sight of him and I literally cannot wait to get to his house.

We were chatting and at the time I was talking to about 20+ other guys on tinder and whatnot and I’d been setting up dates all week. His phone buzzez and he laughs and goes “hey, do you know this guy”

And to my horror it was one of the guys I was sexting on tinder
And I
Had
Fucking
Double booked them

WAIT FOR IT, THAT’S NOT ALL FOLKS

I played it cool and was like “Ha yeah, I was chatting to him for a while, totally forgot about him though, I clearly picked the hotter one”

Holy mary mother of god someone pass me an oxygen tank or some tequila because he then goes

“Lol that’s my bestfriend.”

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Have you ever just kind of wanted the ground to sink in and swallow you whole? Yeah, I was hoping for a fucking hiroshima explosion to go off and kill me.

THANKFULLY he laughed it off and then his friend texted me saying he doesn’t go for whores anyway so he’s not that cut up

mmmmm OKAY BOOBOO THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAID LAST NIGHT WHILE YOU WERE WANKING OVER MY NUDES BUT THATS FINE GO DRINK YOUR BIG OL CUP OF TESTOSTERONE AND GTFO OUTTA HERE SO I CAN BANG YOUR BUDDY

Anyways we left the bar and went to his house and I swear I came in 2 seconds when I saw how clean his room was. Mate that makes me horny as fuck. God I love not being able to smell ur shitstained underwear that’s been in the corner for 3 months 😍

Anyways im horny af but for some reason I didnt actually plan on staying over that night so I didn’t wear any lingerie i wore FUCKING SPANX
AND NOT LIKE A BODICE SUIT
BUT LIKE THE FUCKING GRANDMA ONES THAT ARE HIGH WAISTED

So im internally freaking out ready for the big reveal of my sexually appealing attire and the guy puts on the Dictator on his tv

Ironic

Get it? Cause Dic (k)tator?

Fuck I’m a funny cunt.

Anyway
So I’m watching this racist as fuck movie and its really hard to get in the mood but eventually he took his shirt off and we were making out and stuff and then THE PART WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR

HIS DICK!

WOOOOOOOO

I was honestly so excited I was like yaaaaas gonna get me sum diiiccckk tonighT

Of course though, Jesus had other plans for me.

Have you ever been that unfortunate kid at christmas who unwraps a gift enthusiastically and then you see It’s like a pair of kmart undies and you sit there looking like someone just shot your grandmother and you’re physically so upset that you didn’t get Barbie’s Mansion that you look at the camera your mum is holding and burst into an ugly fit of tears and everyone laughs at your expense?

Well friends, in that moment, I was that kid. He pulled down his pants and I didn’t know wether to laugh or just straight up cry.

It was a cheerio.

Fit for a toddler.

I begged the gods to give me strength and I put on my game face thinking I’d still give him a chance. I was reluctantly giving him the best damn blowjob that a fucking cheerio has ever recieved when suddenly I felt a bit of wetness in my underwear

Now I’m not one to catch on quickly so I assumed I was just turning myself on with how great I was so I kept going
But then
The wetness kept coming

Surely not even I, the sexiest woman alive, can turn myself on THAT much. I swear there was enough liquid to drown a small child.

So I quickly made him give himself a wristy onto me so that I had an excuse to run to the bathroom and clean up

And of course,
With my luck
and my sense of timing
The fucking red sea had decided to pay me a visit.

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No pad, no tampons, and a heavy flow. I screamed internally and checked his bathroom draws (he lived with a chick and a guy)
I was despo for a pad

But the bitch must keep them in her damn room or something so I do a quick left right check and sprint to the toilet

I fold up about a trees worth of toilet paper and put it in my damn underwear then put the spanks over it. I look like im wearing an adult diaper.
And I’m freaking out

So I go to his room and SEDUCTIVELY turn the lights off. By seductively I mean I didn’t want him to see me wearing a months worth of his toilet paper.

I thought that this night could not get any weirder. I told him i didnt want to have sex and he was fine with it – naw look at him not being a rapist and shit, so cute.
But then we started talking about our kinks
And I have none because I’m a vanilla bean frappucino from starbucks

But lo and behold the man goes to his wardrobe and pulls out this massive fucking black strap on.
Then a doggy collar and leash.
And a box full of anal toys.

I went bright red cause like wtf i cant do that stuff im basically the most virgin whore you’ll ever meet I dont have THE BALLS TO TRY THAT

YAnd even if i did
What was i meant to do with the dog collar and leash
Like
throw a bone?
Make him fetch?
Take him to the dog park?
Teach him how to play dead?
LIKE I HAVE A DOG AND I DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH MY DOG SO ID RATHER NOT PRETEND YOU’RE A DOG PLS

So before he could even ask me to peg him with that mike tyson sized dildo I blurted out “IM ON MY PERIOD CAN I GO TO SLEEP NOW”

He looked so taken aback considering I literally half yelled it.
I didnt care tho
I aint walkin no dildo in the ass loving human-dog
Not today sir
Not today.

So we went to sleep and in the morning i asked to go for a maccas run to pretend last night didn’t happen.

Ladies, if all of the above hadn’t put me off, this next part did.

All he ordered was a bacon and egg mcmuffin.

I’m out.

*edit: if those are your kinks i fully respect you and envy your bravery but honestly i could just not take one for the team that night soz*

TO BE CONTINUED ……

 

Hello Kitty

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I have immersed myself into a whole new world that started out as some harmless fun. It took on a whole new direction as I discovered a world I didn’t know anything about. I made up a tinder profile and wanted to just have fun putting things in it I would not normally write for myself seriously, and for some reason it attracted a very specific type of guy.

A man who is dominant. A man wanting a submissive. A man who wants to do some insane things to me and gets pleasure from doing that. I have gotten about 8 to 10 men who claim to be Doms and would like me to become theirs.   For those who don’t know much about this world, welcome to my life!   I had to very quickly learn what it was all about to keep up with the facade of wanting to be that person, that woman who desperately wanted a man to dominate her in the bedroom and in general.

But it before I get carried away… Allow me to rewind

I put up a profile on a Sugar Daddy website to see what juicy text stories I could find to share with you all. So far, I’ve only gotten boring short men or over 60s men who want to fly me to Hamilton island to ‘cuddle’ them. AHhh so dull.

#boring

Those and the married men wanting discretion. Is it just me or is this not just a form of prostitution? You meet on arranged days, spend time together (of course sex will be on the agenda) and he gives you a weekly ‘allowance’ plus gifts and so forth. Is this not ‘paying for sex’. I have in my profile that I’m not interested in married men. Perhaps that is why it’s not overly active? Must men on there are married? Just FYI… This experiment has certainly opened my eyes to the extremely high number of cheating men. I don’t get it. If you are not happy together, try and change that or leave before finding someone else. It’s really disappointing how much of this I’ve seen.

Next idea… Put up a profile opposite to my usual style and see where it takes me. Guys are fishing, ghosting and playing with your emotions all the time online. Stringing you along and having no intention of following through. So what is the harm if I chat to some in a role playing situation? Pretend to be someone I’m not. Maybe part of it is me though as it does intrigue me.

I was ready to do this but I wasn’t doing it with malicious intent. It was just to be experiencing something different and do some research because I want to write some exciting blogs for you!. Venture into a voyeuristic world and go into an area that is not normally common for me. To do something out of the box. Go beyond what I’m usually comfortable with but explore. Behind a keyboard, behind a phone, without putting a face to a profile, it’s so easy to become someone that you’re not.

I became KITTY. I became Kitty because of what I wrote on the bottom of my profile.

I chose this photo of my legs in a tiny bikini to intrigue and arouse. I wanted to remain facially anonymous.  I’ve actually been approached by a guy in a bar angry at me for not matching him on tinder!   With this profile especially… I’m being careful.

MY PROFILE

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You KNOW how to please

Confident strong dominant when it matters
You let me know exactly how much you want me.
A true mature minded gentleman in touch with your natural instincts. You adore a good woman & the body she takes care of for you

You will be fit, tall (I’m 5 foot 6 & heels are sexy so…) kind hearted, quick witted, sexy, single, secure, assertive and ready to go after what you want … Me, only me and I’ll only want you.. Long term

Non-smoker. My Kitty doesn’t want cancer!”

I was thinking it would attract a certain type of man but I wasn’t expecting to attract the number of BDSM or dominant man in the sense that it obviously did!

As most of you know, to match on Tinder it takes two people to swipe right with each other. I was specifically targeting men who looked strong, masculine and dominant. In my last blog i said I was no longer online dating because I was tired of being single and being still online. I figured I will still be single, and not online

I met some characters online, none of whom I have met in person by the way!  It’s not something that I find comfortable however being interactive and seeing where this path has been taking me, has actually made me understand that there are different people doing different things, some of which is actually a turn on

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The first Dom who contacted me, turned out to be someone that I think is not a good human being and those who read our blogs know that I’m very open-minded when it comes to accepting people for who they are. I wanted to accept this guy. He told me a lot. He answered many of my questions. He was very patient. He liked me because I was innocent to this world and very ‘vanilla’ and he told me he wanted to corrupt my body and my mind.

I had this crazy idea and I know it’s not nice because it happens to us all the time.

I had never downloaded the app called Kik before. For those who don’t know what Kik is, it’s an app that allows you to send text messages, pictures and videos without having to give somebody your phone number. It allows you to continue some anonymity without revealing your personal information. Take a step further, and if you don’t like that person, and you wish to discontinue speaking with them, you simply block them and remove them, and they cannot find you again.

I didn’t have it and the first Dom that I said wasn’t particularly nice, demanded that I download it and I had five minutes to complete my task or be in trouble. So I downloaded it and there began the conversation that changed my perception and opened my eyes.

Since then I am telling people that I speak with, ‘Do you have Kik?”
We swap usernames and next minute I get a message from them. I’ve seen so many penises in the last two weeks it’s ridiculous. I don’t ask for that although I did yesterday because that seems to be what happens. I thought I’d go along with that in the role playing character. I’m numb to looking at penises now. I just have no interest in getting penis photos. They don’t excite me but now I just go ‘oh and here we have another penis’.

So let’s meet the pilot and let’s call him Flying Dom. Flying Dom’s background is as a very experienced Dom – so he says. If I was a psychiatrist I would have a field day with this guy. Flying Dom is not single he’s married he has been married for three years. He has been with his wife nine years. He’s training to be a commercial pilot and he also drives uber. He loves driving uber because it gives him the best alibi to get out and cheat on his wife by having sex with his sub.

So flying Dom started out helping me understand this world because I was curious. He told me many things.

He told me (copy and paste)
‘I wannafuck u here,on wifes sideof thebed,when she has no idea….i wanna make u feel tbe betrayal,being part of it! And i know deep down it would get u wet’

Righteo then ….

He gave me tasks…

I needed to send him photos of my feet. One front on and one side on to see my arches. I must always be pedicured. He has a foot fetish. I must wear specific sheer stockings with no reinforced toes as he likes to suck my toes then have me ‘rub his cock with my feet’ afterwards..

 

He asked me what name I wish to be called and my choices were ‘slut’ or ‘whore’. (I chose whore… I felt the lesser evil). He showed me photos of him with past subs After each one sent, I was ordered to tell him what I felt when I saw it. The first was a woman naked. She wore the specific stockings. Her hands were restrained above her head as she lay vulnerable on the bed. He was standing over her at her feet taking the photo. On her torso was written his name and ‘whore’ with a date (for the sake of privacy let’s say ‘flying dom’s whore 02:01:16)

I replied ‘you would write on me?’
He said ‘yes, would you like this?’

I replied ‘I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this’

I also said ‘she has nice boobs’. (Well she did and that’s what I thought of and told him … Like a ‘Good Girl’)

The next photo was of a woman on her knees beside his legs wearing a collar. She had her head on his legs and was looking up at him. The leash was in his hands. She was naked apart from the stockings.

My response was
‘I like your sense of fashion’.

I knew this was not what the wanted to hear! He wanted to corrupt me and sense I was uncomfortable with these things because he likes to have control. I also had good intuition telling me that he was a text book narcissist and he clearly takes pride in his appearance. Giving him such a compliment, I waited for his response. He could have lost patience with my lack of sexual focus, but he proved me right. He replied that many of his friends call him a fashionista (although he did not spell it correctly … Just sayin!) He liked that I noticed. Ok 2 photos down and I’ve avoided lying saying that they excite me…. Next!

Next was a woman licking his balls
‘I see a nice penis’
He said he loves having ‘his balls licked and his arse rimmed’

Ok then…. Haha so I ask
‘Do I have to have anal?’

He replied ‘not if you don’t want to’
PHEW! (Not that I’ll ever meet him but role playing this persona still makes me feel this way!)

Next photo, and there is a woman with her stocking-clad feet on his (unfit) belly. They are both naked on their backs butt cheek to butt cheek or in this case she is lifted and he is inside her. He claimed to be showing me this pick so I can see the toes on the stockings. (Oh ok and you just happened to be inside her vagina… Rookie error? #Eyeroll)

I looked at their ‘bits’ and I asked ‘Does sir wear a condom?’

His reply (copy paste)
‘I hate condoms to be honest,vut im clean,regularly get tested both by civil aviation,and also myself too just to be sure’

Ummm Hahahaha ok then? I am yet to meet a human who says ‘OMG Hell Yeah… I bloody LOVE condoms! Best thing ever! They don’t kill the mood. They feel amazing and they don’t irritate my skin at all. I especially enjoy that rubber taste!’ Oh COME ON … Cause you need to have your penis clear of STIs to fly an aircraft so they test you? .. Ah-ha… Sure buddy …

He said to me
‘U want a secret?’
I say ‘Another one sir?’
He says
‘Thats my best friends wife!’

And with that, I wanted to vomit
I asked how long and he said 2.5 years.
I asked did they stop because his ‘best friend’ found out but no, he doesn’t know. What a top bloke!!!

Flying Dom was clearly happy with himself.

I’m my head I said… And…. He is fucking his ‘best friends’ wife behind his back, his wife’s back and with no protection.

This narcissistic man is evil.

He said that he had to live with his wife so he doesn’t want to be judged by her his whole life. Therefore he seeks his fetishes elsewhere and gets off on her not knowing. I question this internally. As a woman who has known this man for nine years, surely she knows something. Perhaps she overlooks it and lives in her happy vanilla bubble..

imageOne scenario he spoke of often was bringing home a stranger and him watching as I’m blind folded and violated by a stranger I cannot see. Then the other guy leaves and he ‘reclaims’ me as his own.

He demanded we meet and knew I was nearby due to tinder working via GPS
He was driving uber and told me to meet him outside for five minutes.

Flying Dom
‘And i still would love u to step out for 5 min to say hi! Its a good opportunity to meet face to face….and i want u to!’

Me
‘Not tonight. Plenty of time for that’

Flying Dom
‘I didn’t ask if you can… I said I want you to, and I want you to be the obliging sub and show me that you want this as much as I do. And I expect you to say yes sir and to come out for 5 minutes’

I managed to avoid him as I was in a bit of pain massaging my back. #closecall

I asked
‘May I ask.. Do you feel guilty lying to your wife?
It sounds like you very much love her regardless’

His reply
‘Im in peace with my urges and desires and i believe what they dont know wouldnt hurt them. This is my life, and we live once….i refuse to abide the norms that society enforce upon us,and morals that are accepted to be followed..like i said, i get off on doing things against norms and morals and getting away with it,i find a great thrill in it. So,no, not guilty…just excitement,thrill and satisfaction’

He asked me
‘When did you last fuck someone? And how many guys in last 30 days? (The more the better i get off on my lovers adventures)’

I made up a reply that he liked

He asked
What did you think about me being there in front of you,have you in doggy,and kiss you passionately all when you were getting fucked by a stranger….and he leaves’

I questioned it
He replied
‘Yet with me you will allow a stranger come and use you as you were vulnerable’

Next request
I wanna see ur wet pussy!’

(It was far from wet but he didn’t need to know)

And I get a photo of his penis excited

FYI I said that i needed to go and work and would talk later #novagpicsforyou

Whilst I was talking to Flying Dom, I matched with ‘hmm whatever’. Whatever is a Dom but he showed me not everyone is evil like Flying Dom. We chatted in text on kik and he was very different. We all have our individual ‘things’

He was polite and open.
‘Whatever’ likes to please. He gets off on giving pleasure and being in control of it/you.

In his profile he mentioned ‘poly’ so I asked him did he have multiple relationships. He is not married but has 2 main Subs and a couple of casual playmates. He by all accounts seemed very sweet and respectful. He came across as very open and honest and hapy with his lifestyle. He sent me a profile photo and he is not pretty! He is an old school biker looking guy with a ZZ Top style beard…. Ewww

Whatever showed me that there are nice men around who just have fetishes and desires. Most want to be in control of giving pleasure as well as controlling how they are pleasured. It’s a whole new world to me and there is plenty more to come… I have many stories to blog about so please keep connected!

As for Flying Dom
I feel like he justified his actions and infidelities by calling his pet a whore. Branding her, violating her. Watching her get used by strange men. Doing it on his wife’s side of the bed. He justifies it by being his ‘whores’ fault. She did it not him. He gets off on someone feeling guilty for him too. One very messed up evil man!

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Be careful whose uber you climb into ladies!!!!

*** Disclaimer***

i have not treated every connection made through this as a potential ‘blog story’.  Some men I have connected with deserve far more respect than that and I act accordingly

❤️ Single Cass

The Texter

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Delete delete delete

Delete all the things!!

Stop yourself, don’t let yourself contact him anymore. Now you don’t have any of his contact details and you wish you did, but it’s good you don’t. The guy is meant to do the chasing, it’s a natural instinct. Stop, just stop!

So when you have a good instincts you decide to go against it. You want to believe that everything you felt and thought, is different time.

I met ‘The Texter’ or ‘TT’ online (of course since I hide in my bedroom Saturday nights!)  He was witty and interesting. Our conversation was different from the start. I sent him the first message, related to being his tour guide as his profile said he was new to Brisbane. He replied asking for references as to why I would be potentially successful in my application for this role. It continued from there and that’s the stuff I like. It’s not often that you connect with such easy and intelligent banter, and I had such a great time chatting. It is definitely extremely attractive in a person.

Then I think I always say ‘he’s different’ when a more unique conversation like this comes along. His photos were nice and normal. Assuming I have a ‘type’, he was a good height, looked active and into his fitness and smiled. Who doesn’t like a genuine smile?

After a few days of some very interesting, quickwitted back-and-forth about the usual things, I wanted to hear his voice and see if he intended on meeting. You learn through experience that you can have plenty of great conversation but nothing can make chemistry appear where it is not. I wanted to meet this man!

He wanted to text on watsapp which I do, but usually only with overseas friends. We lightly discussed Friday night. That never happened. We started chatting again and I told him I was disappointed and honestly, wondering what the secrets are. I even tell Naomi that I’m scared he is one of ‘those’ guys. One of the guys we say ‘There is always something wrong with the good guys’ and there always is. It’s like when you do meet a great man, you are excited and look forward to talking again, seeing him again. Then the ‘something’ comes out. I didn’t want a ‘something’ (well let’s be honest, I never do!) I want to be proven wrong… Please prove me wrong!!! Please don’t be ‘that guy’.

We were back to texting (initiated by me) and he asked me over to his hotel to ‘watch a movie and order in something to eat’. Apparently he was temporarily in a hotel whilst looking for a place to live in. Unfamiliar with the city he was unsure of suitable suburbs. Being that he is from
Melbourne I suggested some areas that he might feel more at home in. I am not comfortable going to meet a man at night whom I do not know in their hotel room. I did want to meet him and wanted so much to believe he wasn’t just all talk and only down for sex. I just settled in at home and went to bed.

 

 

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Some more texting the next day…I actually send voice messages on Watsap too. He just texts. There was a lot of conversation and we actually have gotten to know quite a lot about one another or at least what each of us have said. I know my words are truth and assume his are too. By all accounts he seems like a really kind person. He seems like a man who is respectful in his thoughts towards women. That he took his online account down because it didn’t feel natural. He did say he would like to wait to meet me until he is settled in. It’s hard to say yes to that because you get more invested in someone the longer you chat to them and it’s such a let down if you meet and there is just nothing there. I don’t want that. I would love for it to be all rainbows and unicorns with chemistry through the roof… Imagine that! Reality is though, there’s a chance that may not be.

I really like talking to him. He is intriguing. It’s that whole thing that’s so annoying but I don’t know if it’s because we are attracted to what we can’t have. We still think maybe we can and reality is it always turns out that we can’t! I wonder why we never learn…I know that I like to be optimistic and live with hope.

I asked him when he is going to cook me dinner (he mentioned he would like to do this) and he said the following Thursday. I said ‘OK’. He seems surprised. He checked and I said ‘Yes’. I think he was more surprised than I was that I agreed to meet him for the first time at his new place. By this point I’m at a stage where I don’t care, if that’s my only option to meet this guy then so be it. (Giving a friend a heads up of course as to where I will be just in case cause the murder’s axe comes out… You never know).

 

 

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We continue texting with lots of questions he gets more intimate with the conversation he sends me …. his penis! You all know I am NO fan of dick pics. Normally when someone sends me a penis photo I delete them because I don’t want that kind of guy. Somehow, when he sent it, it was more like a complement and somehow, he gets a different reaction from me than most guys would. I wonder if he was testing me. I did tell him I didn’t like those texts later on and he actually apologised in a very nice way. Yes, I broke my rule of dumping a dick sharer. I don’t know your penis.. We are not friends. We have never met. I would rather meet you in person and discover your attributes that way. Until then I can use my imagination and wonder what you are like and if I will like you. If I like the way you look and how you act. If I want to hold your hand and maybe I might want to kiss you. Now I have seen you that build up has kind of gone. Oh well what’s done is done.

For some reason I like him and I don’t find him offensive m. I kind of forgive his ways.

He told me one time that he likes the sound of my voice and listening to me speak (my voice messages). He said that I should do a video blog. I told him I actually do have a blog. He was surprised and asked about it. Do Naomi and I usually throw that whole slap in the face idea out there straight away? Hell no! That takes some time. Some we never tell. Some men feel instant paranoia. Some are excited at the thought of being written about. The ones who are more sincere ask what I will write about now … Cause with him I won’t be single for long.. #cute
A few are just intrigued so we share our URL with them and just roll with it.

TT asked me for it and I shared it with him. He was gone for a while and replied that he liked it. He asked some questions and I told him we would love to write a book one day and collate our stories or even better, hope someone stumbles across it wants to make a move… I would see that movie!!! He offered to share the site with his friend with contacts in the movie business asking my permission to do so. I replied that as lovely a gesture as that is, I would actually like to get to know him for him as my interest is in him right now. I don’t want to feel like I am taking advantage of him, I just really want to get to know him. Who knows… Maybe later.

He since asked a couple of times was I going to write a blog on him. I said I have no thoughts of doing that. I didn’t have a reason to I guess. Naomi and I don’t want to date men to write a blog. In fact you will have noticed both of us have been very quiet on the blog additions lately. We sometimes write about old experiences and make them seem like they are recent… Timing is not important but the stories are still valid and often quite funny. Lately though, we have both been quite over the dating scene, as for us it seems like one disappointment after another. We are both very busy with our work and that makes you even less interested in trying because you are tired and no make up in your pjs on Saturday night is way more inviting! For all those wondering … We would much rather talk to a great man who is holding our hand than write blogs about the silly ones. It might not be as entertaining for you readers, but we would be ecstatic to tell you this … Sadly that’s not the way it is.

 

 

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TT also asked me if I was lonely. That’s an interesting one.

Sometimes I feel alone. I wouldn’t be honest if I said I was lonely. I’m actually very content with my own company. I’m used to it. I also spend my days absorbing a lot of emotion from clients and customers and friends. Being alone at night is something I look forward to. Does that mean I don’t want to sleep with someone beside me? Absolutely not!!! That would make me incredibly happy but not for the sake of waking up with something poking me in the back each day! I want the real life penis pic in the flesh. The one I AM friends with and want to see each day.

Sunday night TT and I had a very stimulating conversation. I liked it a lot. I learned more about him. I felt comfortable with him. I had even made him a little video just to say hi with my dog. A (hopefully) nice surprise for him to receive. All this and I have still never heard his voice. It does make me wonder but I try to be optimistic.

Sometimes I think I’m thinking too much. He says he is pretty new to this (online) but maybe he’s not. Maybe he knows how to manipulate and play games. Maybe he’s very good at this. Maybe he’s not single. Maybe I’ll never meet him. (I actually think I never will and not for my want of trying) I hope that I do though, because this guy is someone I am sincerely interested in.

I can’t help but question his actions or lack there of though. I want him to change my mind on how this usually goes. I don’t want every guy to be the great guy that doesn’t work out.  It just doesn’t ever happen. I thought about it today. I messaged him last night and he didn’t reply and that’s fine, maybe he went to bed. I thought TT would reply when he woke up in the morning. I had asked him some key questions after a funny story that I shared with him and ….nothing then …nothing

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I thought about it. I initiate the conversation all the time. I’m the one that puts myself out there. I’m the one that sends voice messages, visuals of myself and I don’t get anything back from him except photographs and texts.

So I was thinking about when I stopped talking to him for a few days, I deleted my online accounts. I had a tinder account and plenty of fish. I just deleted them. I thought about it. I have been single for this long and I’ve been online. I could just be single and NOT be online and not be frustrated, not feel let down. Maybe by looking up away from my phone, I might actually see someone in real life!
I feel good about this.

He said he had conversations with a client of his and his client said that maybe I’m a ‘serial dater’. TT asked what that was and apparently it’s someone who watches too many romantic movies and has this idea of the ‘perfect man’. This ‘perfect man’ in their mind actually doesn’t exist. They said these women are never satisfied because they keep waiting for something that’s not real and go from one man to another.

He said that for the record, he told his client he thinks there are more layers to me than that. He told me that he looks forward to discovering those layers. Awe…what have I done???? Now I want to text him but I can’t because I deleted all the things!!! (Inner voice… It’s for your own good… If he is interested he will contact you)

The things that go through a girls head in the situation and let’s be honest I’ve never spoken with him.

Is he actually real? He talks of plans that don’t eventuate, he says he’s moving to Brisbane and he’s looking for a place …OK He says got a place now…OK
He says he’s away working again…OK
He says we’re going to catch up…OK
He says all the right things, he has me interested. I question these things not because I don’t think he’s honest but because there’s things missing but then, maybe it is because he’s awkward, maybe he’s shy, maybe he’s unsure.
The simplest of things, the easiest way to make it flow naturally… just talk (in his case ‘text’) and say hi. You don’t have to have a long conversation if you’re busy, but don’t ignore somebody
I don’t play those games. If I want to talk to him I’ll talk to him. If I want to say something I’ll say something.

He mentioned to me previously in earlier messages that he’s the type of guy, that if he likes someone he will chase her. I thought about this and I don’t know him that well, but if that’s who he is, he’s not chasing me which in his words should tell me he isn’t interested.  I’m handing everything to him, playing by his rules, and maybe that’s my problem. Maybe I do that too much but why should we be playing games?
Why can’t we just be who we are and communicate if we want to without being judged as it being ‘stalky’?

Imagine if a guy said ‘yeah she’s cool, she talks, she says it how it is, she’s honest, clearly likes me – she’s paying attention. There’s many other men that would like her attention right now but I have it, no one else does’image

And why can’t that guy just responded that he’s busy? Say (I don’t know) ‘I’m busy’ / ‘I’ll get back to you later’?
Ignoring someone is never a nice thing. Ignoring a girl is just mean. I don’t ignore people. If I can’t talk to them I say so… Because I’m interested in them. They will know I want to but I can’t right now.

 

So I messaged him, I sent him a voice message and I said what I said above.
I initiate conversation it’s not nice to feel ignored but I guess it shows me that what I imagined it could potentially be, it’s not. If it was, I would think differently. I would feel differently. The thing about Watsap is that you can see if someone has read/listened to your messages. He has read them a listened to it and he hasn’t replied.

Unfortunately it isn’t a huge surprise through experience.

I want to believe that this guy is a great guy I’ve never met him but I feel like I want to know more about him.
I don’t want to be ignored anymore I want someone to go ‘wow this one’s amazing and I want to know everything about her.’

So I guess dinner this week is off. I would love to be eating dinner with him. I was so excited and I’ve been looking forward to it. Who knows what goes on in a man’s head. I have no idea. Such a shame but it’s no surprise. I doubt I will hear from him. TT has his blog now though. Maybe that’s what he wanted?

❤️ Single Cass

Assumptions

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As a female I am not the best at reading a guys thoughts on or after a date or two.
Are they interested?
What are they interested in?
How do they see me?
Did my inner nervousness make me talk too much?
Did he get my humour?

I don’t like that part that makes you wonder because often I think the worst

I met Hawaiian Shirt guy online and really enjoyed the text banter
He asked me to meet him that day which for a moment I considered but chose to overlook it and continue chatting online first. He lives in the western suburbs which is only around 45 minutes away. (Let’s call it ‘West’). I live 10 minutes from the CBD. I haven’t always lived here. My cousins, aunt and uncle live in the same town as he does so I do know the area a little from growing up as well as visiting friends there, plus work from time to time. I did however joke about not wanting to ‘get West on me’. There is a line from a movie Queen Latifah is in which has always stuck in my mind and makes me giggle. She is a car snob and has to drive someone in a borrowed vehicle. She stops at the car and says ‘OH hell no… I ain’t gettin no DEAWOO on me!’
For some reason it hits my funny bone. I often say this about things … Like West … As a joke. I even took a screen shot and sent it to my (male) friend who rang me and thought I was hilarious. Probably because he knows me well enough to know I don’t actually think less of West really, but it’s a funny joke.

So after chatting with Hawaiian Shirt guy for a day or so and liking his approach and liking our messaging, I shared my phone number with him adding the now mandatory ‘No Dick Pics’ warning. Which of course he responded with the usual response of ‘I would never do that’

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We chatted on the phone a few times the next day. I was driving in between classes therefore can’t text but have Bluetooth in my car so I can talk. He took the day off work (He is in the RAAF – Oz Airforce for overseas readers) so he was contactable throughout the day. What I particularly liked about him was that he remembered the small things. Asked how my class went. How my meeting was and how my burger date with Nicole was. We arranged to meet the next day. That’s very fast for me as we only started chatting online two days ago.

So during conversation I kept the act up about West to have fun with him. I really am not that bothered or judgmental but it was fun keeping him in his toes. He was ticking some great boxes so far.

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During conversations about dating experiences I mentioned the situation that arises sometimes. Guys write to me, I check out their profile and it says ‘love camping, fishing, 4 wheel driving’. I reply that I don’t think we are suited. If they ask why I tell them although I don’t mind those things they are clearly really passionate about it and I don’t want to camp all the time as I like hotels too! I also don’t want to go fishing. Not my thing. They usually back peddle and say they hardly go camping. I know this! I know they will own up to the fact they were saying it to sound more manly and all about the guy stuff! Sure I’ll go camping and 4 wheel driving. I’m a pretty tom boyish kinda girl. I grew up camping and 4 wheel driving but I won’t lie and say I cannot wait to go! I don’t want to go every weekend! When do you fit in other stuff that’s fun too? I like balance in life. I like to try new things and experience new things. Life to me is about exploring and learning and who better to do that with than your man??? Well …. When you have one that is.

So in conversation Hawaiian Shirt guy asks where to meet. He didn’t finish work until six. Due to the distance it would be 7.30/8pm. Most guys like to eat early so I suggested he eat dinner first then we could have cake. He was by now aware of my cheesecake love. I wanted to take this West guy to Chester Street Bakery and blow his ‘I will watch you eat yours’ mind. Apparently he won’t eat it.

#challengeaccepted (FYI – Yes you will!)

I told him if he wanted dinner we could eat sushi first and he liked that idea. I hadn’t told him about Chester Street.

He said ‘The Valley? Can’t you meet me part way?’
I said ‘Nooooo I’m not coming to West’
I felt Instant disappointment
Why did he have to be ‘that’ guy? That guy who doesn’t instinctively want to be the man and automatically go to the woman? Not expect a woman would drive that far at night on her own to meet a man she does not know? The guy goes to her and makes her feel at ease by being in her own environment removing any fear of the unknown.

DEAR MEN… You are meant to take care of the woman and ensure her safety. You go to her at first. You make the effort and show her you are interested. You don’t ask her to come to you! You don’t ask her to be in an unknown place out of her comfort zone! Would you like your daughter to be doing that with a man she does not know? Maybe during the day could be slightly acceptable but….

All good though as he came to me. Earlier actually than planned after he finished work early. I thanked him a few times because it is a bit of a drive and I appreciated the effort he made.

He was lovely. Apparently I have a ‘type’ although I find attraction in many different ways, my friends would say he was my type for sure. Masculine, taller, fit, cute smile, blue eyes, a bit rugged and nicely dressed. I don’t need fancy but I like a man who makes some effort. He made plenty. He drove all this way for a start.

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We had sushi
We had cakes
We walked everywhere
We went for a walk to the river and sat and chatted. I did my usual dog distracted pats, as people walked their dogs. Oh and I did ‘Is that man peeing off the balcony?’ Yea he was. He had a cigarette in one hand and his penis in the other and was peeing off the balcony onto the concrete below which was the glass door to the group fitness room of the gym under him! EWW!

He told me some crazy stories. He was still deeply in love with his wife many years after their wedding and was deployed overseas. He was so excited to come home to her but it seems she was having other men ‘at home’ with her. Stories like this make me so sad. If you don’t want to be with someone anymore break up with them!

Don’t cheat.
Stop cheating!!!

It seems it’s not surprising these days to hear someone was cheating and that is very sad. So he went a little crazy dealing with the heart break. He had his military buddies encouraging him and from what he shared, his pants region saw more action that he did in Iraq. He told me of one night stands with women he had absolutely NO attraction to but they asked so he said yes. One woman was self-conscious about her weight. His mate made him agree to go home with the first woman who tried to lure him away. He says a deal was a deal so he went home with this woman and had sex with her. She seemed shocked he went with her… In her private Limo to her penthouse home.

She was on top and asked could she strangle him. He said sure, thinking it was just a kinky playful game but no… She was trying to choke him!! So he tried to fight back and lost his erection … Quite a normal response when trying to not DIE!! She took it that he wasn’t attracted to her and asked him! He woke up not long after…She strangled him until he passed out!
The sweet part is that he said she was a really lovely lady. #niceguy

There were more stories including a mate doing ‘doggy’ with a woman who had Hawaiian Shirt guy’s name on her back. His mate told him he saw it and he lost his erection. OMG! How funny. Two years later his mate clearly visited this woman’s back again and took a photo … He showed me this photo. Again, Hawaiian Shirt guy wasn’t attracted to tattoo woman but she kept enticing him by cooking roast dinners and he loves home cooked food so he ate it then felt like he had to have sex with her!

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#crazystuff

We talked plenty… Well I did cause I tend to do that at first. I actually really liked him!!! (I know surprise to us all right???). I found him intelligent and fun and a decent person. Open and honest and not jealous or lacking confidence. We had some interesting conversations about his days after he got divorced and how he managed his break up with numerous women. It was quite funny to hear some of the situations he got himself into. He walked me home and gave me a hug and patted my back. Hmm …I even said ‘Did you just PAT me??’

He text me when he got home saying thank you and letting me know he was home. That is when it turned sadly strange.
He said he thinks I’m lovely and attractive but we don’t have enough in common because he lives in West and he likes camping. OMG is he for real? Here I was thinking I would really like to see this attractive intelligent man again. I would like to know more about him. I would happily drive out to West to do that. I love that he has a dream to own a farm on land one day. I like a man with goals and dreams. Would I like to live on a farm? If it wasn’t in the middle of nowhere then sure! How peaceful that would be and if you were with someone you loved … What more would you need?

I was a bit disappointed that he was so quick to assume and judge. Sure I joked about West but shallow I am not! If only people knew more about one another before assuming things. I think many people miss out on the ‘good stuff’ because they don’t give people the chance to show who they are. I did say I wasn’t driving out to West but that was the first meet up! Relationships, if that is what something becomes, are a two way street. If I liked someone I would make the effort and drive to them. Absolutely! You know when something is worth your effort. You do what feels right. Plus I’m a giver which is often my downfall but it’s part of who I am.

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So I rang him because texting is never a good idea when things are unclear.

I said ‘Did I say i didn’t like camping or I preferred a hotel?’ 

‘Did I not say it’s fun now and then?’

‘Did I say I didn’t like boats?’

He said I made it obvious I didn’t like the outdoors and he does. I don’t agree with that but ok. He said that I said I wouldn’t drive to West and that’s where he is from. That he grew up there and loves it there and it was like (my paying out on him) I was looking down on him.
I asked him was he finding an excuse before getting to know me because he is afraid of meeting someone he likes? Sabotage it before it begins perhaps? And I thought women overthink things.

I am not about to sit on a phone and try and talk someone into liking me enough to see me again. I’m already a little insulted but at least I know if he thinks about it and realises he may have been a bit hasty, we both know I tried my part well.

It was a nice night with a disappointing ending. Do I believe his reasoning or is it that he actually doesn’t find me attractive? Who knows what a man is thinking? Why would you say you had a lovely night, spend so long with someone (4 hours?) tell them you find them attractive, then spend the drive home finding reasons to avoid them?

Who knows …. Might go book myself a camp site and to Straddie for the weekend!

#guysareweird

❤️ Cass

P.S. No he didn’t wear a Hawaiian Shirt. He read some blogs though and joked that if I ever wrote a blog about him that I call him this. He thought it was funny to tease that the would meet me wearing a Hawaiian Shirt.  I’m sure he never expected I actually would be writing about him.