Delete delete delete
Delete all the things!!
Stop yourself, don’t let yourself contact him anymore. Now you don’t have any of his contact details and you wish you did, but it’s good you don’t. The guy is meant to do the chasing, it’s a natural instinct. Stop, just stop!
So when you have a good instincts you decide to go against it. You want to believe that everything you felt and thought, is different time.
I met ‘The Texter’ or ‘TT’ online (of course since I hide in my bedroom Saturday nights!) He was witty and interesting. Our conversation was different from the start. I sent him the first message, related to being his tour guide as his profile said he was new to Brisbane. He replied asking for references as to why I would be potentially successful in my application for this role. It continued from there and that’s the stuff I like. It’s not often that you connect with such easy and intelligent banter, and I had such a great time chatting. It is definitely extremely attractive in a person.
Then I think I always say ‘he’s different’ when a more unique conversation like this comes along. His photos were nice and normal. Assuming I have a ‘type’, he was a good height, looked active and into his fitness and smiled. Who doesn’t like a genuine smile?
After a few days of some very interesting, quickwitted back-and-forth about the usual things, I wanted to hear his voice and see if he intended on meeting. You learn through experience that you can have plenty of great conversation but nothing can make chemistry appear where it is not. I wanted to meet this man!
He wanted to text on watsapp which I do, but usually only with overseas friends. We lightly discussed Friday night. That never happened. We started chatting again and I told him I was disappointed and honestly, wondering what the secrets are. I even tell Naomi that I’m scared he is one of ‘those’ guys. One of the guys we say ‘There is always something wrong with the good guys’ and there always is. It’s like when you do meet a great man, you are excited and look forward to talking again, seeing him again. Then the ‘something’ comes out. I didn’t want a ‘something’ (well let’s be honest, I never do!) I want to be proven wrong… Please prove me wrong!!! Please don’t be ‘that guy’.
We were back to texting (initiated by me) and he asked me over to his hotel to ‘watch a movie and order in something to eat’. Apparently he was temporarily in a hotel whilst looking for a place to live in. Unfamiliar with the city he was unsure of suitable suburbs. Being that he is from
Melbourne I suggested some areas that he might feel more at home in. I am not comfortable going to meet a man at night whom I do not know in their hotel room. I did want to meet him and wanted so much to believe he wasn’t just all talk and only down for sex. I just settled in at home and went to bed.
Some more texting the next day…I actually send voice messages on Watsap too. He just texts. There was a lot of conversation and we actually have gotten to know quite a lot about one another or at least what each of us have said. I know my words are truth and assume his are too. By all accounts he seems like a really kind person. He seems like a man who is respectful in his thoughts towards women. That he took his online account down because it didn’t feel natural. He did say he would like to wait to meet me until he is settled in. It’s hard to say yes to that because you get more invested in someone the longer you chat to them and it’s such a let down if you meet and there is just nothing there. I don’t want that. I would love for it to be all rainbows and unicorns with chemistry through the roof… Imagine that! Reality is though, there’s a chance that may not be.
I really like talking to him. He is intriguing. It’s that whole thing that’s so annoying but I don’t know if it’s because we are attracted to what we can’t have. We still think maybe we can and reality is it always turns out that we can’t! I wonder why we never learn…I know that I like to be optimistic and live with hope.
I asked him when he is going to cook me dinner (he mentioned he would like to do this) and he said the following Thursday. I said ‘OK’. He seems surprised. He checked and I said ‘Yes’. I think he was more surprised than I was that I agreed to meet him for the first time at his new place. By this point I’m at a stage where I don’t care, if that’s my only option to meet this guy then so be it. (Giving a friend a heads up of course as to where I will be just in case cause the murder’s axe comes out… You never know).
We continue texting with lots of questions he gets more intimate with the conversation he sends me …. his penis! You all know I am NO fan of dick pics. Normally when someone sends me a penis photo I delete them because I don’t want that kind of guy. Somehow, when he sent it, it was more like a complement and somehow, he gets a different reaction from me than most guys would. I wonder if he was testing me. I did tell him I didn’t like those texts later on and he actually apologised in a very nice way. Yes, I broke my rule of dumping a dick sharer. I don’t know your penis.. We are not friends. We have never met. I would rather meet you in person and discover your attributes that way. Until then I can use my imagination and wonder what you are like and if I will like you. If I like the way you look and how you act. If I want to hold your hand and maybe I might want to kiss you. Now I have seen you that build up has kind of gone. Oh well what’s done is done.
For some reason I like him and I don’t find him offensive m. I kind of forgive his ways.
He told me one time that he likes the sound of my voice and listening to me speak (my voice messages). He said that I should do a video blog. I told him I actually do have a blog. He was surprised and asked about it. Do Naomi and I usually throw that whole slap in the face idea out there straight away? Hell no! That takes some time. Some we never tell. Some men feel instant paranoia. Some are excited at the thought of being written about. The ones who are more sincere ask what I will write about now … Cause with him I won’t be single for long.. #cute
A few are just intrigued so we share our URL with them and just roll with it.
TT asked me for it and I shared it with him. He was gone for a while and replied that he liked it. He asked some questions and I told him we would love to write a book one day and collate our stories or even better, hope someone stumbles across it wants to make a move… I would see that movie!!! He offered to share the site with his friend with contacts in the movie business asking my permission to do so. I replied that as lovely a gesture as that is, I would actually like to get to know him for him as my interest is in him right now. I don’t want to feel like I am taking advantage of him, I just really want to get to know him. Who knows… Maybe later.
He since asked a couple of times was I going to write a blog on him. I said I have no thoughts of doing that. I didn’t have a reason to I guess. Naomi and I don’t want to date men to write a blog. In fact you will have noticed both of us have been very quiet on the blog additions lately. We sometimes write about old experiences and make them seem like they are recent… Timing is not important but the stories are still valid and often quite funny. Lately though, we have both been quite over the dating scene, as for us it seems like one disappointment after another. We are both very busy with our work and that makes you even less interested in trying because you are tired and no make up in your pjs on Saturday night is way more inviting! For all those wondering … We would much rather talk to a great man who is holding our hand than write blogs about the silly ones. It might not be as entertaining for you readers, but we would be ecstatic to tell you this … Sadly that’s not the way it is.
TT also asked me if I was lonely. That’s an interesting one.
Sometimes I feel alone. I wouldn’t be honest if I said I was lonely. I’m actually very content with my own company. I’m used to it. I also spend my days absorbing a lot of emotion from clients and customers and friends. Being alone at night is something I look forward to. Does that mean I don’t want to sleep with someone beside me? Absolutely not!!! That would make me incredibly happy but not for the sake of waking up with something poking me in the back each day! I want the real life penis pic in the flesh. The one I AM friends with and want to see each day.
Sunday night TT and I had a very stimulating conversation. I liked it a lot. I learned more about him. I felt comfortable with him. I had even made him a little video just to say hi with my dog. A (hopefully) nice surprise for him to receive. All this and I have still never heard his voice. It does make me wonder but I try to be optimistic.
Sometimes I think I’m thinking too much. He says he is pretty new to this (online) but maybe he’s not. Maybe he knows how to manipulate and play games. Maybe he’s very good at this. Maybe he’s not single. Maybe I’ll never meet him. (I actually think I never will and not for my want of trying) I hope that I do though, because this guy is someone I am sincerely interested in.
I can’t help but question his actions or lack there of though. I want him to change my mind on how this usually goes. I don’t want every guy to be the great guy that doesn’t work out. It just doesn’t ever happen. I thought about it today. I messaged him last night and he didn’t reply and that’s fine, maybe he went to bed. I thought TT would reply when he woke up in the morning. I had asked him some key questions after a funny story that I shared with him and ….nothing then …nothing
I thought about it. I initiate the conversation all the time. I’m the one that puts myself out there. I’m the one that sends voice messages, visuals of myself and I don’t get anything back from him except photographs and texts.
So I was thinking about when I stopped talking to him for a few days, I deleted my online accounts. I had a tinder account and plenty of fish. I just deleted them. I thought about it. I have been single for this long and I’ve been online. I could just be single and NOT be online and not be frustrated, not feel let down. Maybe by looking up away from my phone, I might actually see someone in real life!
I feel good about this.
He said he had conversations with a client of his and his client said that maybe I’m a ‘serial dater’. TT asked what that was and apparently it’s someone who watches too many romantic movies and has this idea of the ‘perfect man’. This ‘perfect man’ in their mind actually doesn’t exist. They said these women are never satisfied because they keep waiting for something that’s not real and go from one man to another.
He said that for the record, he told his client he thinks there are more layers to me than that. He told me that he looks forward to discovering those layers. Awe…what have I done???? Now I want to text him but I can’t because I deleted all the things!!! (Inner voice… It’s for your own good… If he is interested he will contact you)
The things that go through a girls head in the situation and let’s be honest I’ve never spoken with him.
Is he actually real? He talks of plans that don’t eventuate, he says he’s moving to Brisbane and he’s looking for a place …OK He says got a place now…OK
He says he’s away working again…OK
He says we’re going to catch up…OK
He says all the right things, he has me interested. I question these things not because I don’t think he’s honest but because there’s things missing but then, maybe it is because he’s awkward, maybe he’s shy, maybe he’s unsure.
The simplest of things, the easiest way to make it flow naturally… just talk (in his case ‘text’) and say hi. You don’t have to have a long conversation if you’re busy, but don’t ignore somebody
I don’t play those games. If I want to talk to him I’ll talk to him. If I want to say something I’ll say something.
He mentioned to me previously in earlier messages that he’s the type of guy, that if he likes someone he will chase her. I thought about this and I don’t know him that well, but if that’s who he is, he’s not chasing me which in his words should tell me he isn’t interested. I’m handing everything to him, playing by his rules, and maybe that’s my problem. Maybe I do that too much but why should we be playing games?
Why can’t we just be who we are and communicate if we want to without being judged as it being ‘stalky’?
Imagine if a guy said ‘yeah she’s cool, she talks, she says it how it is, she’s honest, clearly likes me – she’s paying attention. There’s many other men that would like her attention right now but I have it, no one else does’
And why can’t that guy just responded that he’s busy? Say (I don’t know) ‘I’m busy’ / ‘I’ll get back to you later’?
Ignoring someone is never a nice thing. Ignoring a girl is just mean. I don’t ignore people. If I can’t talk to them I say so… Because I’m interested in them. They will know I want to but I can’t right now.
So I messaged him, I sent him a voice message and I said what I said above.
I initiate conversation it’s not nice to feel ignored but I guess it shows me that what I imagined it could potentially be, it’s not. If it was, I would think differently. I would feel differently. The thing about Watsap is that you can see if someone has read/listened to your messages. He has read them a listened to it and he hasn’t replied.
Unfortunately it isn’t a huge surprise through experience.
I want to believe that this guy is a great guy I’ve never met him but I feel like I want to know more about him.
I don’t want to be ignored anymore I want someone to go ‘wow this one’s amazing and I want to know everything about her.’
So I guess dinner this week is off. I would love to be eating dinner with him. I was so excited and I’ve been looking forward to it. Who knows what goes on in a man’s head. I have no idea. Such a shame but it’s no surprise. I doubt I will hear from him. TT has his blog now though. Maybe that’s what he wanted?
❤️ Single Cass