How would you feel to be the woman who takes a man back because the woman he was seeing after you, didn’t want him?
He spends his time with the new lady doing all he can to win her over and speaking terribly of his ex and how glad he is be able to clearly see how wrong they were together. That she is a bitch. That she has issues. That she is not s nice person. That she’s a selfish lover.
Apparently she broke up with him twice. She said they are very different people and so forth and didn’t want him.
So I watch this all unfold. Remember ‘The ExFiles’. This woman is #2 of #1.
The one who messages me on FB asking if I met Bman online as she only dumped him two weeks ago. I seriously LOVE how strong my instincts are although I try hard to over ride them telling myself to be open minded.
Here’s the story…
Really liked him at first. Says all the right things. Good conversation, met, good chemistry in person. Spent some time getting to know each other. After a while of course we slept together and he was very eager to please. I wasn’t going to argue about this!!!
Then the Ex messages me on FB and I was polite to her although rolling my eyes at the ongoing issue women seem to have with contacting people who they have no business contacting!!!! Seriously!!
One of my besties told me recently when we were having some girlie time, that her ex had been cheating on her. This is something she just found out because guess what …the girl he was apparently doing this with, sent her a FB message to tell her. She hasn’t spoken with this guy for some time and has been dating other people quite happily not even thinking about him. Why do girls need to do this? FB brings irrational behavioural issues right out in the limelight it seems. Oh, you were always a freaky manipulative freak show but now it’s easier for people to notice … Because you are making it obvious through writing things on FB!
Anyway… Where was I???
Oh yes, messed up messy people.
So I had a suspicion there was something not quite right and I was correct. Add to that another grown man with a drinking problem, an ex-wife, DVO and a child custody battle and I guess i was onto a winner right? Still, I’m being forgiving and open minded thinking there are two sides to
each story and that people can become better versions of themselves through experience. (Eye roll Cass)
Let’s move this story forward. Lied to me about how long he had been single, about being a non smoker… “Open minded Open minded”
Next, he came crawling back after ghosting me over a weekend and admitted that he had relapsed and started drinking. He proclaims to be a reformed alcoholic who also supports others going through the same. Sure but you have issues.
For those of you wondering what ‘ghosting’ is, here is my hand-fed Urban Dictionary link to help you out
I then allowed him to come over and visit although I wanted to watch football. He is from Victoria so NRL isn’t a priority over a vagina so he went down on me as I watched the game. Was a bloody great game!!! We won. I won!!! Was an awesome night all round!!! Haha #winning #scored
Ahhhh … I’m not that hideous. I returned the favour and more. It was a fun night and he stayed over and it was a good distraction from falling into his drinking patterns. I’m keeping myself very aware of this situation and even though he continually tells me how he is in love with me (way too soon) I just keep him at an arms distance. I know this story far too well. Oh did I add he was trying at every opportunity to join Naomi and I in Asia in July? I managed to avoid hearing those constant suggestions and pretend it was either a joke or went unnoticed. Seems he was keen to make it a romantic getaway together (Was the ex coming too???) #awkward #thitdwheel
Some people need to supplement one addiction for another. He doesn’t like to be alone. If he is alone he may feel a desire to drink. He needs to feel comforted. Be that with bourbon or with a woman. His kids are being kept from him and he can only see them every second Saturday with a court approved chaperone and cannot be within a certain distance of his ex wife. He has given his version of why to me but it doesn’t add up. Again, there are two sides to every story.
What happened was …
He ignored me the following weekend again.
As Patti from Millionaire Matchmaker says…‘If you’re not his Saturday night, he’s not serious about you’
Metaphorical and realistic.
Saturday night is the night that is generally open for social activity. When you are interested in someone you want to see them then. You don’t want to be doing anything else. You hope they are available and you can see each other. He started texting me on the Monday morning.
After a few texts I asked ‘Are you trying to get in my good books?’
He said ‘Maybe… Is it working?’
I replied ‘Not sure’ and left it there.
On the Tuesday morning he asks what my plans were like for the day. I didn’t reply yet as I was busy. The second text asked could we meet up.
I called him a bit later when I had time and asked how he was and so forth. I then asked what he wanted to talk about. He was irritatingly lacking confidence. Gahhh .. Be a man and speak!!!
Finally ‘Ummm just about us and what’s going on with US‘
Me : OK so we will talk about you, and talk about me? (Pause for affect). Because after this weekend, clearly there is no US. It’s quite obvious by being ignored by you again that US does not exist. If you wanted an US, you certainly wouldn’t be ignoring me. So what did you want to say that can’t be discussed on the phone then?
He gingerly said that he didn’t know what to say to me. Urgh! As a mum says to a three year old ‘use your big hoy words’. Another man who is intimidated easily! Communicate for goodness sake. Have an interactive adult conversation!!!
I continued with : I can’t see you this week much as I have a lot on but towards the end of the week I will let you know. I was being completely honest as I never commit to something unless I know I am able to do it. I had even planned a cafe catch up with my gorgeous friend K and when my week changed to hectic, kept her updated and respectfully let her know. FYI we didn’t catch up … But we did at a later date . ❤️
I sent a text on the Friday and said that I had some time that day if he would like to catch up
He Ignored me
I roll my eyes to myself – something I do a lot.
I found a funny meme and sent it to him the Friday night (I must add that I actually do care for his welfare and do want to know that he is ok so as much as I think he is not a good potential ‘man’ in my life, I do feel I want to check on him)
He replied the Saturday morning saying
‘That’s a bit funny’
I figured I would just call so I rang his phone and you guessed it, He ignored me.
The polite thing when you miss a call is to return the call …. No. Not him. He ignored me
I sent another text because I was actually feeling a bit concerned. I said can you please return my call and added a meme to be nice.
The next morning he said
‘Will call you later today ok’.
And he didn’t, He ignored me
That night I replied to his above text to be sarcastic and said ‘sure’ cause clearly he lied again and He ignored me. He just doesn’t do as he says #goodindicationsoffuturereliabilityfail
‘Do you still want me to call’
I told him probably not in the best frame of mind tonight now regarding him so another time would be better.
He actually called the next day. It made me laugh so much to hear he has gotten back with his ex. He asked why I found it funny which made me laugh even more to think he doesn’t know!
So the poor woman dumps him. He runs off and meets other people and tells them he loves them, and says all sorts of nasty things about her (which I actually don’t stand for and suggest isn’t very nice) and then when I tell him there is no US he talks her into taking him back!
Oh I laughed!
Did a care? Not really although I feel bad for her. I don’t think he ‘loves’ her or anyone. I feel bad that I got her left overs that she is now getting her leftovers regurgitated back to her (eww). Don’t forget either that I’m a Skank so you get him back with skank all over him.
I did tell him some home truths. FYI, I asked if it was ok to do so before I unleashed them upon him
I said you are only going to hurt this woman again and break her heart, which clearly isn’t strong since she is so desperate to be with someone. I said you are a mess and I believe as I did from the start that you need to be single. You need to be single and sort your shit out and stop taking your mess and messing up the lives of others. You are no good to a woman you are a weak shell of a man. I do hope that you guys are blissfully happy together, I sincerely do because everyone deserves to be happy but I can only see it ending in tears.
For what it’s worth, for all the great things you proclaim yourself to be, you really are not. You know what a decent person I am, and you have treated me terribly. You have done the wrong thing by me numerous times and if you can stand there and feel good about yourself for being that person then good luck to you. I feel disrespected and mistreated and you are the so-called great guy responsible for that. It’s not nice and we don’t need to speak further.
I have no doubt he will entertain sessions talking about me and allowing nasty things to be said which is quite childish and sad. I was very kind to him and about his exes. Still, weak people do their best to feel better by running other people down.
Oh I ended it by saying I hope he enjoys the lack of blow jobs his future holds… Apparently me going down on him was rare thing and he wasn’t used to It. What??? What selfish women are not doing their part to give back and make a man feel special? I’ll put it out there… Those body parts of yours (men) may not be the prettiest of things but they are yours and I am a giver. I actually really like pleasing a man I’m with. Do I want some penis shoved down my throat? I could think of nicer things like cheesecake and donuts! The action itself isn’t the most fun thing but the feeling of making someone feel good and being responsible for their euphoria is well worth going out of my way for. If I’m happy to receive its only fair I return the favour and even start the ball rolling (hehe ‘ball’ – see what I did there???)
The point if this story is this….
Being single should not be confused with loneliness. You should not NEED to be with someone you should WANT that.
Want it at a time when you are ready to give something of yourself to someone deserving.
Want to find someone who wants to find you.
Complement each other don’t drag each other down. Or one drag the other either.
A man is incomplete if he has not healed. We all need time to heal
It’s ok to need time because THAT is admirable
I find a man extremely sexy when they are confident and with direction
A past is fine but it’s a past and I don’t need to be dragged into it.
Bring me a man who is ready, sorted, strong and THAT is sexy. THAT is who I want. You ‘weak settling for something so that you are not alone’ women can keep your damaged men. (Ok I’m not that cold I understand humans and understand weaknesses but I just don’t want that in my life)
So Bman just think of this. If you do care about this woman … Consider what your messed up life is going to do to her. Your selfish need to feel loved … Is it worth the pain you will end up putting the both of you through?
As for the ex now current again … Is he really as great as you want to believe he is?
I feel like I was sitting down with some popcorn watching this unfold before me in between rolling my eyes in both ‘urgh you silly people moments and ‘Ahhhh that’s it right there ooooohhhhh’ moments. Personally I prefer the between my legs moments a whole lot more… Now just to combine popcorn with football and oral sex and I’m sorted!!! Maybe some cheesecake and donuts too… Ahhh bliss!!!
P.S. Eyes Guy is now reading this blog I recently found out. I’ll ipdate some more on him later but to refresh you https://2singlegirlsdating.com/2016/05/14/eyes-guy-intro/