I’m not going to lie here. I am guilty of messaging my ex’s girlfriend. In fact some days it’s more than one time a day. Some may think that is extremely unnecessary. Let me tell you about her.
She’s cute. She’s intelligent, she’s funny. She is strong and can definitely hold her own. She is kind and thoughtful and a huge lover of dogs, especially my dog. Oh and she loves Tom too… Forgot that part! No, not really.
You see I was with Tom for a big chunk of my life and we never had a fight or hurt one another. We are not those kinds of people. Tom is a good man. We just drifted away from each other and never found a way back. We let each other go romantically but never stopped loving and caring for each other as people. This allowed us to move on and Tom met Emma I think close to three or more years ago.
Tom and I have a beautiful fur child named Zokni and he will be nine years old this year. Tom and I have been apart for around six years now and I actually don’t refer to him as my ex but as my dear close friend. We have ‘shared custody’ of Zokni and we drive him to each other on a regular basis depending on our work schedule and the gorgeous Emma joins in with deliveries.
Zokni loves his step mum and is exited to see her arrive at the meeting point to hand him over and that fills me with joy. I adore Tom and knowing he and Zokni have Emma in their lives makes me incredibly happy. I was never surprised that she was such a wonderful woman because Tom is a wonderful man I would only expect that he would be attracted to someone fantastic… (Yes, I’m going to high five myself here 🖐🏼)
Good people keep good people in their lives.
This might be a difficult thing for people to do but to us its normal behaviour. You can love someone without being IN love with them. You can have respect for an exes new partner and actually be happy for them both.
Has this stopped me forming relationships with potential men? Sure has!!!
Q : Do I care?
My thoughts are these..
I’ve known Tom for twelve years and that is a huge chunk of my life. Loyalty and genuine care plays its part. Who do I choose between a twelve year friendship and someone I’ve known for twelve minutes? Not you if you are insecure and assume the worst.
I want the guy who confidently shakes Tom’s hand and thinks ‘thanks for letting this woman go so I could find her’ and ‘If Cass says you’re a great guy then I’m with her on that’
They will see our demeanour, how we are around each other and see for themselves that there was never any reason to feel uneasy. Maybe they won’t be besties but if new guy is the guy I hope for, they will really like and respect one another. Tom will nod thinking… Thank you for taking care of her. At the same time thinking … You better love the shit out of our dog!!!
Why do people need to be jealous and manipulative? Why do they need to cause problems and ruin happiness for someone they don’t even want to be with anymore? End your emotional connection and enjoy the good times you had and hold onto those to remind you of positive memories. Learn from it, appreciate the experience and the happy times and continue on your journey without collateral damage especially to those who have nothing to do with you.
Anyway, time for me to get back to doing my Skanky stuff in my Skanky life being the Skanky Skank Skanker that I am
❤️ Cass AKA SKANK