Back in London and I’m wondering how many of you are familiar with the array of dating apps and website that are out there. If you’re lucky enough to have found your soul mate, or you’re single but not intrigued by the world of online dating you probably don’t know much about how they work.
So let’s start with Tinder. Probably the most notorious dating app out there, where you will find all sorts of people searching for all kinds of relationships ranging from full blown love to men wanting to be a cuckold (look it up).
We’re rewinding to just before Christmas when I was visiting my best friend Steph in Philly. Steph met her husband Justin at college (university for the Brits reading this) and they’ve been together ever since. It’s been several years now and was before the advent of internet dating and certainly before the rise of dating apps.
Having never experienced it for themselves they grew quite curious to find out more about how it all worked and how people behaved.
I passed my phone to Steph with Tinder open and she started to swipe. “I feel so in control” she exclaimed with a cheeky grin. It’s fun seeing all the potential options and deciding whether to swipe left (no way!) or right (yes, I’d like to find out more). “Ooh I think you’d like this one” with a swipe right.
Then a first message popped up and Steph almost jumped. “What do I do now?” So I said just reply and see where the conversation goes.
I should make it very clear at this point Steph was being me, she was not a married woman matching with guys on Tinder.
So they start messaging back and forth and Steph would check in with me to confirm how I would say something or spell it in British as opposed to American English. After about 10 minutes she said “oh no!” And looked sad. I asked what happened. “He unmatched me! I’m terrible at this!” She told me what was said and I reassured her “you’re not terrible. He was just after one thing. You found out and said you weren’t up for it (as me) and he unmatched you. I’d say you passed!”
Justin joined us. Interested in what was happening, now it was his turn. What Justin did next opened my eyes to how a lot of guys use Tinder.
“I’m going to do an experiment and swipe right on everyone and see how many match with you.” 10 right swipes. 10 matches. Ok let’s try some more. We got to 30 and 29 were matches.
Then he made himself a Tinder profile. It pulled up his profile pic from Facebook which was a wedding pic of him and Steph! “You can’t use that Justin!” So he selected another profile photo just of himself. Then he swiped right 10 times. Nothing. 20, 30… No matches. Sad face…
It’s not that I’m particularly amazing, but I was in a new area, had my phone on but not swiping on Tinder (what’s he point when you live in a different country) so guys were seeing my profile, I was a Brit in the US and I am female!
I also added further to my reasoning on why he had no matches and I had a ton, reminding him that it’s Saturday night and you just joined. How many women are going to be sitting at home and see you instantly to swipe right on?
Justin explained that if he were using Tinder he wouldn’t waste time reading all the profiles and looking through the photos beforehand but would swipe right on everyone and then when he matched with a girl would then look through and decide if he’d want to talk to her or not.
Totally makes sense that guys would do that!
Tinder fuelled our conversation as we were at dinner that evening – see pic above of us not being anti-social friends with our phones out at the table, but rather Steph and Justin seeing if they would come across profiles of people they knew!
Tinder is a bit like a game and people use it for different things:
Some are looking for love – someone I lived with for about a month got married last weekend to a guy she met on Tinder.
Some are looking to meet people with an open mind to seeing what develops (I’m in this camp).
Some are looking simply to get laid.
Others are just looking for an ego boost.
And others… well, you know about Dom and he is on the milder side…
If you’re going to use these apps you have to be ok with rejection. You have to be ok with the fact that you’ll match with people and some of them will never write to you, some will write to you and just ask for sex and some will make an attempt to get you in bed. And as you all know, some will write you kinky stories 😉
There are all sorts of people just as there are in life. You have to be open to that and be able to deal with it. Otherwise dating apps are definitely not the way to go.
What’s your strangest / weirdest / funniest Tinder experience?