I’ve just realised as I start to tell this story that this guy has the same initial as me. Then I start saying our names together and just think it sounds so ‘coupley’: N & N! Anyone else out there do that too…?! Don’t worry I haven’t gone as far as testing out his surname with mine… That would be weird but also I don’t know what it is, so I can’t anyway!
So he needs a name which for the purposes of this post will be the Milkybar Kid.
Minx* and Rose* – a couple of girlfriends of mine were out around Clapham a few weeks ago and met a group of guys and got dancing and chatting (I use that term loosely since I understand that most parties were completely trashed – particularly the boys!)
Turns out one of them – Peter Pan* was quite into Rose and they exchanged numbers and arranged to meet up the following Friday.
I ended up not teaching that Friday given that I’d literally been stitched together the day before and wasn’t allowed to exert myself… That meant night out right?!
The night started in a pub with Peter Pan and Rose being the first to arrive. I was next and felt a little like I was in the way of some potential romance. Not that they made me feel like that but they were so cute and in full conversational flow. Fortunately Peter Pan’s mate Mood Swinger* showed up shortly after so I didn’t have to get in the way of Peter Pan’s attempts to woo Rose.
Mood Swinger wasn’t doing it for me and was faffing around trying to find himself a stool. Minx arrived a short while later and then it was three beautiful ladies in our early 30s with our prosecco and a couple of average (ouch!) men in their late thirties. Actually they weren’t that bad, a real catch for two lucky ladies out there.
Conversation turned to Tinder (surprise surprise) with Peter Pan having been on his first Tinder date (that’s what they all say…) earlier that week and complaining about girls not looking like their photos. I’ve seen that too with male friends showing me photos: “Naomi, check this out.” Then they swipe through the photos exclaiming “Hot! Hot! …” OMG so NOT hot! Is that even the same person?!
It seems some people have mastered the art of incredible selfie-taking and that’s probably why you’ll frequently come across these words on dating profiles: “if you don’t look like your pics you’re buying the drinks until you do!” Shocking!
I don’t understand why anyone would do that. I mean what’s the point of making yourself look a different way? The person you’re meeting is going to be able to tell when they meet you face-to-face!
Mood Swinger then revealed he’d been on Tinder for a year (actually I can’t remember how long, but it was a long time) and he had only chatted to 3 people and met 2 of them. Neither had worked out. Bit odd. I wondered if for some people it really was that slow…Honestly there are so many people available in London you could have a date every night of the week if you wanted. But of course the quality of date would be hugely varied!
The guys had said another friend would be joining us too and then in he walked: tall, dark and handsome.
Ok, not quite true…
He was tall with strawberry blond hair and piercingly light blue eyes. The Milkybar Kid as he is now known. Not particularly muscular (in truth, not at all) and not my normal ‘type’ – if there is such a thing – but there was something about him I found attractive.
The Milkybar Kid and I chatted a lot. Seems like a good guy with a head on his shoulders and he’d even voluntarily revealed some struggles he’d been through which shows an ability to talk openly. Massive tick!
As we moved to a local bar we lost Mood Swinger who had decided to stop drinking saying he had to be up early. It actually looked like he was sulking because none of us girls were showing any interest in him, although we were all having good fun conversation together with lots of laughter.
Back to Peter Pan… He is not blessed in the height department and I was towering over him with my ridiculously high heels as he asked for advice to win over Rose. He was good fun, chatty, witty and seemed to be doing well in his business too. But he wasn’t showing her he was interested, not in enough of an obvious way. So having some alcohol in me I proceeded to act the man and show him what he should do…
It seemed as though he and Rose were making good progress until I got her alone and she was adamant there was no interest on her part.
We were all rooting for them. They looked like such a good match. But it turns out she now has a thing for Scottish men. Well, actually I think any guy in a kilt will do nicely. If that’s you get in touch!
Side note: Minx and I are now sending every dating profile pic we find of a man in a kilt to Rose. I even spotted one in the street today and snapped a sneaky pic…
There we were in the third bar of the night, Peter Pan still trying to win over Rose – who has to be one of the most friendly people ever, Minx scanning the bar for a good looking tall guy (she is above average height for a woman) who wasn’t completely off his face. I’m quite chatty when I’ve been drinking and got a few guys to join us but they were far too gone to be of any interest to any of us.
The Milkybar Kid kept telling me he was going to leave soon. I didn’t pay much attention to that and just said ‘oh, ok’. The girls had told me that when they met the guys previously he had been the one who disappeared with a girl at a certain point in the night and there was no way he was gonna get that from me.
After about the 4th time he said “but I’m not going to go without your number. Can I take you out for a drink?”
“Yes, you can take me out for a drink” I replied smiling.
I typed my number into his phone and shortly after that we all left.
The Milkybar Kid and I arranged to meet for a drink on Monday evening the following week. I wasn’t sure what I’d think of him when I was completely sober but I take dates as an opportunity to meet another person and expand my horizons of who is available. Plus, you never know…
I arrived about 5 minutes before him – I don’t mind too much about that kind of thing and in any case he wasn’t late, I was just a bit early. Plus he’d come out to west London from work in North London on a bank holiday (the perks of being the boss…not!) He’d made an effort to get there. Nice.
He’d had his hair cut (definitely a plus) dressed nice and is really a pretty good looking guy. A little on the skinny side for me but no-one’s perfect right?!
We didn’t stay out for too long as it was already fairly late and it was an early start back to work the next day. He was a gentleman and we chatted freely for a couple of hours in a deserted pub which is usually vibrant and busy.
The Milkybar Kid is a ‘safe’ option: Good upbringing (yes, I said that and yes, I care); been through struggles and come out the other side not just surviving but thriving; runs his own businesses; nice car (me? shallow? never…); has friends; plays sport; is not crazy…well, that hasn’t been proven yet.
My text to Minx later that night read:
“He went in for a kiss at one point and I kind of wasn’t expecting it and had moved cause he’d also just tickled me and I think he thought I wasn’t interested 🙈 funny.”
I wasn’t going to let him get too close too soon given what I knew.
But hurray! Finally someone I’ve met ‘naturally’ and not on Tinder, Bumble or some other app or website.
I shot him a text saying thanks for coming over and great to see him.
He replied with a mutually non-committal text: “Enjoyed the drink too… Good luck with the stitch removal tomorrow”
I remembered a conversation I’d had with some friends the previous week about wanting a guy to ask – particularly in the beginning – but some (a lot?!) are afraid to ask for fear of rejection especially if they haven’t received any clear signals you’re interested… I don’t think I’d been very clear. In fact when he was moving closer, I moved away.
I typed a message out… hesitated to press send and then thought what the heck, he was nice, I want to see him again and what’s the worse that can happen…?
“ps. I would have enjoyed it more if you’d taken hold of me and kissed me”
Didn’t have to wait too long for the reply:
“I was saving it for next time…”
“Talking of which, dinner soon?”
Cue big smile on my face!
Next day and dinner is arranged (it’s tonight!)
To be continued…
*not their real names just in case you were wondering 😉