This is part 3. If you haven’t read parts 1 and 2 you’re missing out! Do that first…
Part 1 – My Own Fifty Shades
Part 2 – You’ve Been a Naughty Girl Haven’t You?
I know some people are totally turned off by this because they immediately think it’s demeaning, disrespectful, weird, unsafe, disgusting… (comment below with your thoughts!) AND THAT IS OK because everyone’s thoughts, feelings, opinions and turn-ons are different. But I’m intrigued…
Some people just don’t get it though. They aren’t able to read between the lines of the previous blog posts and think it’s JUST weird kinky stuff. How many people are unsatisfied with their sex lives? A lot right… maybe even you…?
If you don’t explore, ask your partner questions, listen and do what turns them on (so long as you’re comfortable with it) then why would things ever change? You get bored, frustrated, look elsewhere…the relationship breaks down…So why put up an instant barrier without even a consideration just because you perceive something to be ‘dirty’…?
I’m going to share some of our conversation with you so you can understand more what I’m getting at.
I feel totally at ease asking Dom questions about the dominant/submissive relationship.
He’s had 2 such relationships with people he’s met from Tinder. He also met another woman from Tinder for a drink but things didn’t continue. No idea if he’s met women elsewhere and began a dom/sub relationship with them.
Dom is happy to answer my questions, saying that one of the “relationships” lasted 3 months and another 6 months. One ended because she wanted a relationship (by this I’m presuming she wanted what they had to become more) and the other because “weirdly we got bored of each other.”
After writing their stories and sending them through messages Dom asked the women to meet for a drink to see if there was chemistry. “There has to be an instant recognition of who is in charge. She has to have a deep desire to submit.”
I asked when this started for him.
Dom: A few years ago. I’ve always loved control of her body. Deciding when and how you get pleasure. Taking you to the edge, having you beg and ache for more. I love knowing you’ll obey, love knowing you’ll occasionally be naughty to get punished.
Me: Do you have a girlfriend?
Dom: No, I can only concentrate on one at a time! Are you seeing anyone?
Dom: Do you feel aware of your limits?
Me (I feel a bit stupid not knowing what I’m supposed to be saying!): As in would I tell you when to stop?
Dom: Oh I think you’re confident enough to tell me when to stop. More what you definitely don’t like the idea of doing. For example, being called dirty names like “suck my cock slut”
Me: Ok, I definitely wouldn’t get turned on by that. If anything is degrading in my mind I don’t like it. So calling me a slut, no.
Dom: Good, that is a limit.
So you want to be pinned against a wall and kissed hard, a hand running through your hair, grabbing your head and pulling it back so I can kiss your neck – while another hand slides up your dress, reaching around to grab your arse. You want to hear me whisper just how badly you want before throwing you on the bed, spreading your legs and pulling your knickers down…
Me: Something like that yes 😉
Me (in my head): If you wanted to come do this to me now I wouldn’t say no!
I wondered if my desires were a little ‘tame’ for him. I asked, “Is that what you want? I mean would that be enough for you to enjoy it?”
He replied: It is and I certainly would. But more importantly is it what you want? For me, quite simply, it’s all about you, how you and your body react.
Me (in my head): Bloody hell this is great! A guy who actually wants to know exactly what will make me happy and then make it happen!
Actually, I’ll say – as I did in the previous post – I think this is so important for any ‘normal’ relationship: Understand what turns each other on, explore, talk and enjoy doing those things for each other. Happy sex life!
Being dominant doesn’t necessarily mean f*cking hard or treating the submissive like a slave or like a piece of meat or someone worthless, it means being in control in a way that is pleasing to both parties – at least that’s my understanding so far.
After our chat Dom told me to expect the next part of the story at 9pm.
I asked for something… he said “It’s cute that you think if you ask you’ll get…”
I know someone who has experience of Dom/sub relationships and their’s is a simple arrangement where they meet up every few weeks and have some uncomplicated fun in a way that works for them. Then they get on with their separate lives, dating and spending time with other people.
But I didn’t want to assume anything. So I asked: “Do you consider it to be a relationship when you’re with someone and doing this stuff? Like do you go out and do regular things together?”
Dom: I would if she was cool to hang out with. I’ve found with a profile like this (he’s talking about his Tinder profile) its resulted in a lot of different avenues, some who are just curious, others who have greater experience and are fully immersed in the BDSM world, and then those that want to explore themselves and with someone confident enough.
I ask what you like and don’t like because, as you can imagine, all of us have a different image of dom/sub. And I want to know what turns you on, what makes your mouth water, what makes you even more curious.
Me: If we were to take this further would you want me to be exclusively for you?
Dom: Perhaps in the long term, yes, I’d want you to myself.
Me: I am curious and want to explore this further – you know that much. But I am looking for a relationship. I’m not sure how that could work in this context? So I wouldn’t want to say to you that I’m open to this and then you expect me to be just for you while I continue to look for someone to be with long term.
Dom: Your search for a relationship is and should be a priority. I have no intention of getting in the way of that. So I suggest, we talk, you get to the end of the story, you of course entertain other dating prospects, and who knows you may take up my offer to meet me for a drink.
Honestly, I find him very respectful, confident but not arrogant, open and accepting.
A few hours later part 6 of my story arrived (WARNING – EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT! SKIP IT IF YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THAT):
You look up at him, pleading with your eyes, any other time and any other person you’d get to work with your mouth.
But not today, he’s in charge and you know it as he looks down into your eyes caressing your cheek with his hand. He brushes two fingers over your lips and unconsciously you open your mouth. Lips closing around them, tongue swirling, you find yourself showing him how good you’ll suck his cock as you maintain eye contact.
He withdraws his fingers, using your saliva, he strokes his cock, your eyes fixated as it grows in his hands, you breath deeper. He stops stroking, it’s almost fully standing to attention, you don’t need further instruction as you lean foward and devour him with your mouth.
Lips locked around it, your tongue working it’s magic as you feel it throb and get harder. You feel both his hands on the back of your head, gripping your hair gently, he wants to feel the back of your throat and you’re so willing to let him. Gently pushing and pulling your head, applying different amounts of pressure, he is in total control and he loves it.
As you grab his legs to steady yourself, he pulls your mouth off his cock, tilts your head up “Hands behind your back”. He releases your hair, as you inch forward and suck on his rock hard cock, licking up and down, tongue swirling around his balls, you want him inside you, looking up at him with those pleading eyes again, you feel his hands lifting you up…
Me: I don’t like my head being pushed
Me: Are these all your words?
Dom: They are all my words, and all written for you. In this case I misjudged the head being pushed down…
Looking forward to the next part?
Me: Of course!
Dom: Do you like wearing heels?
Dom: I want to see the sexiest ones you have, if you’re wearing them in the pic even better
Me (I’m still learning…!): What are sexy heels to you?
Dom: I don’t think I have a definitive answer for that, anything over a couple of inches. I know that women often feel sexy in heels and I want to see what YOU feel sexiest in.
Me (in my head): ok I’m getting this now… Sent him the pic below. Totally feel sexy there!
Dom: Good girl. You’re absolutely stunning. If we meet, you’ll be wearing that. Exactly that.
Me (in my head): Shit, that dress is at my parent’s house!
Dom: The reason for the heels, is more detail in the next instalment. Which you’ll get at 9pm.
To be continued…
What are your thoughts? We want to hear! Comment below if you dare…
Read the next part in this story here: Sir or Master. I want you to always remember who is in control.