A rose by any other name…🌹
So a while back there was this guy that caught my attention online
What he wrote sounded genuine
His physical appearance in the one photo posted had a great smile and he looked like a great catch! Bonus was he looked like my kinda guy to look at if we are just being superficial. Tall | Lean | Fit and perve-worthy!
We were exchanging messages for a while then I felt comfortable exchanging phone numbers. We had some text conversation then eventually spoke on the phone. I say eventually because I made the first big step to call and it was a few moments after he sent a text. How is it that a person misses your call when they literally just had their phone on their hand to text? Hmmmmmm
Anyway he was not overly confident with a cute bit of shyness at first which I found endearing.
Over a few weeks of not meeting we talked a lot on the phone. There seemed to be issues regarding meeting and I got to the point where I said enough is enough. ‘I am not wasting all this time getting to know someone this way that I may not have any chemistry with in person, and if we don’t meet now I don’t want to meet you at all.’
He sent me two dozen red roses. They were stunning and I have never had a man send me flowers before. I was at my work and a delivery person walked in with a massive arrangement of gorgeous roses for me. My face was soooo red!!! They were breathtaking and I appreciated the gesture incredibly. It made me want to meet him even more and say thank you face to face but this kept getting longer and longer in the lead up.
One night he said he got home from work late and his mate asked him to drop off some car tools to him. It was around midnight. I said oh where does your mate live? Coincidently ‘rose guy’ needed to drive right past my place to get there so he had no choice but to agree to stop by. I went outside and waited in the quiet street as everyone slept so that I could finally meet this guy who said all the right things and sent me roses. (My housemate was very angry at me doing this at that time of night!)
I saw a car and I saw a person walking down the street towards me as a shadow… A big shadow…
When he finally stood in front of me I felt so cheated. It’s not about a persons looks as much as it is about a person pretending to look different to what they do. He did weights for sure but wasn’t the lean looking shirtless guy at the bbq in the photo online. That guy also had lots of hair. The guy in front of me did not have hair and was what I would call ‘fat man fit’. Different face, different body.
He was nothing physically that he represented himself as and the reluctance to meet me earlier seemed to strengthen my feeling that he was trying to be deceptive.
This is silly too. Anyone who knows me knows I am very much about who a man is not what they look like. I am not going to say I don’t care about looks because I do. That being said, I don’t have a check list of physicality that must be ticked off. I find attraction in the person when you meet. In their eyes where I feel I can see who a person is more clearly. (You tell a lot about a person from their eyes). In the chemistry or lack there of. In the smile and the warmth they possess from within. It’s no secret I prefer men taller than me. What IS important is honesty and trust and no amount of giant rose arrangement deliveries can compensate for deception
This guy seemed like he was a sweet person deep down and part of me feels bad. I was nice to him and told him how I felt without saying anything negative about appearances, just that I feel deceived and that he was dishonest and that his photo doesn’t look like it was him at all, even at a younger age. He swears it was from a recent bbq. Perhaps it was but was taken of a person other than him!
I recently blocked his number. He continued to ring and text constantly asking how I am and what I have been up to and I stopped replying. I don’t like men who don’t reply and don’t like doing this to another person. It’s mean and it’s rude. I did however tell him more than once in replying prior, that I dont wish to continue talking with him. I did do the right thing and in a nice way. (Note to men who ignore women … This would be the correct way to maturely deal with similar situations … Kindly say thank you but I don’t feel we are suited … Was nice meeting you … All the best)
I felt the best thing to do even though I don’t like to do it, was to block his number. I’m sure he still texts me without knowing I don’t get them. He deserves a sweet lady in his life but needs to meet them as the man he his, no smoke and mirrors.
I learnt a big lesson
As much as I am a bit shy with the meeting someone thing, chemistry is huge for me. I want to know before we waste so much time, whether we have potential chemistry. No more messing around. No amount of flower deliveries will compensate for deception.
It’s so easy to hide behind a phone screen and pretend to be someone you are not. It doesn’t get you far in person though.